2010 Christmas Letter

So, last year I had the perfect solution! I would simply put my Christmas letter on facebook and not have the hassle of putting it into Christmas cards...Not give it to anyone that didn't care and be able to save a tree or two. So facebook, in their wisdom of changing stuff everyday has made it so I can't find my notes section, much less write in it...Good thing I have a blog, right?

Here goes...2010 has been good to us. We started the year off with a vacation to Palm Springs. The kids enjoyed it immensely...and I loved the short plane ride! We visited Los Angeles, almost getting run over in their crazy traffic, saw some of the desert, stayed close to the pool...It was a great vacation! Louis and I went to Vegas with some friends and we took a long weekend in Glenwood Springs with the kids. Those were nice trips as well and it was great to get out of town. Ever since I'm not sure if there has been a dull moment yet at my house!

Tyler turned 4 this year...We have taken up soccer. I'm not sure he is in love with it yet, but we are making progress...The spring season he cried and would run away from the ball. In the fall he actually started scoring goals, kicking the ball, being a LITTLE bit aggressive...I was amazed at the difference a few months make. He is in his 2nd and final year of preschool. I can't believe the difference in that department either. I think overnight we went from not know anything to all kinds of new revelations. We are all eagerly awaiting Kindergarten and having both kids at the same school! Tyler still loves his tractors...we went to visit Great Grandma and Great Grandpa in May on the farm. I think Tyler could have sat on the tractor all day. Grandpa and him rode it around for hours. We have also continued with the private swim lessons. Tyler did make progress there as well...although not as much as I had hoped for. One day I'll have kids that know how to swim!

Brooke is still dancing. She would pick this hobby over anything I think. She loves to preform, be on stage and just dance. She has made lots of progress and keeps hounding me to start hip hop dance. I'm not too sure if mom is ready for that yet. Brooke also took up soccer this spring. At first she hated it...She is the smallest girl on the team and had a rather large learning curve! However, by the end of the season she loved the sport...she learned that there is a time and a place to be aggressive and to take the ball away from the other team and sometimes you have to make your own decisions. She turned out to be a great goalie, which is surprising because of her size! Over the summer Brooke participated in many camps, ones that she liked the most were at the Downtown Aquarium and one in South Boulder where she went rock climbing and hiking etc. She has asked to go to that again for more weeks. She also did swim lessons...yes we are still working on that situation. Like I said...one day! Brooke is in second grade this year and doing very well...Mom had to learn that Brooke knows how to work system and just do enough to get what she wants...We are still working on that situation.

Louis has been doing well. Again he is working a lot (which means the business is doing well right?), taking on more and more responsibilities at work. I love his work ethic but sometimes it interfers with our social calander. Recently he has mentioned that he feels like he might be missing out. However, when he does spend time with the family he devotes all of his attention to us. We love that part of it. I can't say he has a ton of hobbies...We did try the indoor skydiving adventure earlier this year. Louis did far better than I did. I guess he is a natural! He even said he would love to go again! Louis has been super supportive of some of my adventures this year...which is incredibly great for my mental status! He has taken on the task of cutting down some of our rather large pine trees in our backyard. That is still a work in progress I think he secretly loves demolition!

As for me, I turned 30...I'm not going lie I had some crazy ideas...going skydiving, traveling etc etc...At first I thought I would venture out of my comfort zone at least once a month...So I started off the year well trying sushi, indoor skydiving, going to Vegas. After awhile I decided that maybe I needed to not spend all my time worrying about not being in my comfort zone and just enjoy being 30. I did hike my first 14er which was amazing! I also joined a running club in August. I've got nothing but amazing results out of that! I ran the Rock-n-Roll marathon as a relay...my part was 8 miles and I averaged a little under 10 min miles. This year I'm looking forward to another 1/2 marathon...I think I have the confidence back after the whole foot debacle the last time. I also have a little group that has been forcing me to make it to the gym quite regularly. Although some mornings I wish they forgot the way to my house I've managed to get there and do the workout. Got to love peer pressure! I've enjoyed watching my kids grow, learn, mature and I've marveled at how quickly the time goes! I'm still working at Four To Go with my dad and brother. We have done well as a business, which is great and keeping me busy. I've had some great ideas I would love to implement but haven't yet had the time or the energy to deal with that. When the time is right everything will fall into place. I've also contiplated going back to school to get my masters degree. Not sure if I have the time for that and sometimes taking tests and writing papers sounds rather difficult. I have till April 1st to apply so we will see how that one goes!

We are looking forward to the upcoming challenges, journeys and excitement that the new year has in store for us! And we look forward to hearing from everyone!

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Funding Preschools

Of course at the beginning of the school year I'm excited to have the kids back in school, under instruction and under control again, so when I got hit with the raise in tuition I calmly told myself it was worth it. After all Tyler will get that much more out of school. So the school year goes on and they have more fundraisers, which of course I donate to, sell for etc. Thinking that if I do this it will save me money in the end. Now I get a letter home that says the school won't be providing snack for my kid anymore, they can't afford it. However, by law the kids have to have snack so now it is up to the parents to provide snack. At first I was fine with it, that way I can control what Tyler is having, make sure he is getting something he likes and is somewhat nutritious etc etc. But now that my brain has taken over I'm wondering what the extra money every month that I spend is going towards, where exactly is the fundraising money going and how come they can't afford snack anymore. After all, in the five years that I've had kids going to this school I've not only paid less than I am now but I provided a lot less support as well. All of conclusions are coming back to the director. Who, I'm sure, as a person is a fine person. However, as a preschool director she is not fine. The school is at capacity, and yes I know there are kids that are going tuition free because of one situation or another but still there are plenty of kids paying. And I know they are getting education funds from both the state and the county, and although that may have dropped it is not gone. So where is exactly is this money going? And guess what, since this is a preschool they are not required to disclose this information...

So now that frustration has taken over it is leading me to resistance. I don't want to send snack, whether is be just for my kid or for the whole class...I don't want that responsibility put on me because that is the schools job. Again what is my tuition going for. And also this will show the parents that donate nothing at all...they don't have to because they are on assistance. Nothing like having it thrown in my face that I have to help out those that refuse to get a job. I don't want to have to pick a snack off of their list because it follows nutrition guidelines and takes into account allergies in the classroom. I don't want to provide stuff for the pain in the neck kids that have made me even prouder and thankful for my well behaved kids. I don't want to pay the extra tuition and I certainly don't want to participate in another fundraiser.

Guess what is going to happen in the end? I'm going to cave, because that is who I am. I don't want to watch my kids go without, I don't want to be the stubborn one who causes problems. And I don't want Tyler known around school because he has a crazy mom. I just don't agree with the whole situation...Can you say count down until I'm done with this school? It is a good thing that the teachers are excellent, that Tyler is learning amazing amounts and that there is only 5 months left of this school year and 4 more tuition payments...And, just know, there won't be anymore agreeing to and selling for their fundraisers.

So for now I'll take a deep breath. I'll ignore their letter until it is thrown in my face that it is my turn to donate a snack. And I'll grudgingly pick one off of their list so that I don't get yelled at, or worse send a kid to the emergency room. And maybe in May when I won't have to deal with the school again, I'll find the most unhealthy deep fried sugar loaded snack I can find and send an abundance of it. Just as my way of saying thank you.

The wisdom of a 4 year old!

My conversation with Tyler (my 4 year old) on our drive to work...

Tyler: "Hey mom, it's a good thing we don't live in Aurora."

Me: "What?"

Tyler: "It's a good thing we don't live in Aurora."

Me: "Why?"

Tyler: "Because on the traffic just now they always say how bad the traffic is in Aurora and that would be a long time to get to work then."

Wow, I guess he is listening and comprehending far more than I ever dreamed. Pretty soon he will be able to spell and then I'll have to learn another language to keep secrets.

Can I loose my 'mom' card?

You know, on the radio you hear people talk about loosing their 'man' card because of something they did or said or believe. My question, can you loose your 'mom' card and if so would someone please take mine?

I realized this morning that I totally forgot I was supposed to volunteer in Brooke's class this morning. In fact when I realized it is when I would have been getting done. How bad of a mom am I? Aren't I the one that is supposed to keep all of that straight? All the scheduling and activities and meetings and this and that? And today I totally failed that situation so at this point I just beg you to take away the 'mom' card, that way I won't feel so guilty and I won't have to deal with all the scheduling anymore!

Recent Happenings...

So, I haven't been blogging...Haven't felt the need I suppose! However, I do have to say I'm in a happy place. As of recently I have had some accomplishments. First and most exciting, we got a schedule down for our weeks. Although, hectic we are fitting everyone and everything in finally. Brooke's homework is getting done. We aren't feeling crazy amounts of pressure anymore. We are making it to all the activities on time. This is somewhat of an amazing feat. And the kids are progressing amazingly in their activities. Tyler has gone from running away from the ball to scoring goals and loving soccer. Brooke has started out being afraid of the ball and now is a great goalie. We are still working on the offensive side of the ball! Another accomplishment, I've been running with a running club, which I love...I ran my first race since the whole foot debacle a year ago and I ran better than ever. I finished my 7.9 miles in 1 hour 18 min. That is 9:52 per mile which is huge for me. So I have to thank the running club...Lori and the rest...along with my friends Kristine and Mo for making me be accountable in my running. I love that I have a little community that cares about my running and my accomplishments. My last accomplishment! My husband, who I've been with for 16 years, bought me flowers for the first time ever! I think this made my day even more than all the running greatness and such! He had a card and the whole bit to go with it! I loved it...Love the attention and that he actually cares about little things like running 8 miles. I think I'll treasure this picture my whole life!

Overbooked?

While running with a friend this weekend (Thanks Kristine for joining me!) I learned something about myself...actually probably more than one thing...but I admit...I can't say no...Someone says 'can you...' and I say 'yeah no problem' before I even hear the whole question. There are many many times that my saying yes gets me overloaded. You would think after all this time that I would learn right?

Well today my horoscope that is emailed to me says...."You could be working hard to keep up with a full schedule which may make things seem quite hectic today." Really...it is like it read my mind. "Being overloaded might be the result of your feeling that you have to do everything perfectly in order to please other people. Perhaps this would be a good time for you to learn to say 'no' to others and put your own needs first." Wow, you mean that is ok? To put my needs first? "By doing so you might realize that it is not only much more important to take care of yourself first, but that you will be much more effective when you have less on your plate." Wow...I guess I never thought about that from the other perspective. Maybe I don't need to be such an over achiever!

So after two days and the same revelation I just want everyone to know I'm putting my own needs first. No more soccer games, no more dance recitals, no more room mom parties etc etc etc. I'll start coming to work when it fits into what I need to do, I'll answer the phone when I feel it must be necessary, talk to my husband when I want to instead of all the time and I'll take care of the kids when I miss them. I'll only see my friends when I want to and suggest it. Because as a person I really don't 'need' any of those things.

I'm kidding... Maybe I'm being a little dramatic here!

Isn't this what makes me happy? Aren't all of these things...the soccer games, dance recitals, seeing my kids and husband and watching them just 'being' happy...going to work and feeling like I accomplished something...having and seeing friends...Aren't all these things that keeps my life hectic all things that make me happy? I mean as a person I'm happy...I'm scheduled and overworked and booked solid but I'm happy! Obviously I love being busy and moving all the time and always having something to do. And yes, there are times when I do some things that aren't my favorite, but in the end I usually have a smile from someone.

Just yesterday I ran 10 miles...did some cleaning around the house and then went on a family bike ride...And I'm thinking...should I really go on this bike ride or just stay home and relax? But I went...I watched my husband play with the kids, make them laugh, watched the kids make themselves laugh. I was in such a happy place! That 'extra' bike ride absolutely made my day!

So, give me my hectic, fast paced overbooked life any day...If that means that I get to watch my kids just 'be happy' I will continue to 'be happy'...

All about nothing! I think!

You know, this blogging thing...was a fabulous idea! Who cares if no one reads what is posted, but in the end it makes me feel so much better! I called my fabulous husband this morning and instead of him just listening he had to add to my irritation! Not that he planned it that way. And not that I should be irritated at all by what he said...

It is just so darned frustrating when you have your day planned (and in my case that usually means that it is down to the min) and then out of no where, and no ones fault it all starts to fall apart! Yep that is my day today. And I'm gonna say that it is my fault. I had this false thinking that since I didn't have to be anywhere until 1/2 hour later than usual I could actually sleep a little longer (that extra 15 min was great by the way). However, I have now been scrambling all day...I thought I would be done at my first stop 40 mins sooner than I actually was so now all the errands that I was planning to do then are pushed back to after work. So I guess that means that I'll missing soccer practice tonight and maybe missing a workout...That, probably won't be helping my day at all.

For those of us that actually use a workout for mind clearing, re energizing "me" time, you will all understand what I mean and how sad I would be if that actually turns out to be reality. Just the other day, my chiropractor told me that I need to start biking or swimming and slow down on the running. He doesn't understand that the running is what keeps me normal. Biking...you have to think far too much...is that car going to get me, is there gravel if I go that route...How big is that hill etc...And swimming there is that whole breathing issue and the fact that sometimes that requires traveling distances to be able to swim.

Now that I have vented some of my irritations for the day I wonder why I wrote this at all...Why I spent the time to actually complain about something so silly! And then to jump from on silly thing to another actually thinking at the time that something of so little consequense irritated me so much at one time! But you know what? I feel so much better! I can now go along with my day and handle all the imperfections the way I'm supposed to...with a clam collected mom head!

Am I rude?

I was told today that I am rude. At first I wanted to cry, as I pride myself in trying to keep everyone happy, sometimes to a fault. But then, instead of crying I decided to maybe internalize the information and move forward. I mean this is how we grow right? We learn from our mistakes, find out our short comings and then try and fix those and move forward. At least that is what I try to do. But I also tried to think of instances in which I was supposedly rude. Still, I haven't found those instances but had a revelation...Are we considered rude when we don't have the reaction that others are expecting from us. Maybe our answers aren't the answers that they wanted and now they must change a course of action. Or maybe others are a bit jealous that you aren't afraid to speak your likes and dislikes. I guess my point here is that when other people tell you something maybe it isn't you at all, maybe it is an internal reflection on their part. So if this is the case why is it that a few single words can bother me to such a point that I'm blogging about it? Maybe it is me...I'm rude. I call it like I see it. Maybe I should work on that and start sugar coating everything for everyone.

Or maybe I think too much and should go have a good cry and move on...

Day to Day learning

So today I've been reading...a lot more than usual...Only to discover I'm not alone! Right? It has taken me 30 years and 7 months to figure that out...I know, I'm a slow learner. Don't judge...so are many others.

What I've learned I'm not alone on, you ask? Well for starters goofy things, like when you go for a run and your toe hurts at the end? No, not the big toe. The middle one. Since this is something so silly I don't complain about it, I just go along with a sore toe. My nail turns colors, gets all weird looking but I still go on. However, I found out that other 'runners' have far worse 'toe issues' where the whole nail falls off, but new ones grow...some toes turn colors, some feel bruised etc...so my toe issue is still just a silly toe issue.

What else I've learned. Kids, no matter how well behaved they seem, all have issues with their parents. It isn't just me or my kids. Everyone has a child that acts out no matter how great of a parent you try to be. AND not only does every child act out, but every parent has a breaking point where they really wouldn't mind giving their child to the next person who passes by.

So I'm glad to say that we are all in the same boat, whether it is a life boat and we are all struggling or a cruise ship and it is paradise!

Another day, another dilemma!

I guess the only way you learn new things is try accomplishing new things. Sadly I've discovered this both at work and at home lately. How sad that there are things at work that I'm not sure how to accomplish but must figure it out. But then at the end I'm not all that positive I want to try that endeavour again.

For instance, I was informed at work that the only way we could be a preferred dealer for this manufacturer at work is to have an e-commerce website. Although I'm not entirely opposed to this situation I only know enough about computers and building websites to be completely dangerous. I had a client offer to make the website for me FREE I just have to keep it updated and handle everything afterwards...Hold on! Is there training to go along with this? And how come I'm the only one that gets to figure this out?

At home, I guess my only 'new' experience is to learn how to deal with the attitude of a 7 year old. And how is one supposed to appropriately respond to 'Mom I hate school and I'm not going back!' When I figure that out I'll let you know because as of right now I haven't passed. As if our mornings weren't chaotic enough already!

Is summer over yet?!

Let me preface all of this soon to be 'rant' with 'I love summer!" I love being in the sun and swimming and biking and hanging out on the porch listening to the creatures and basically everything outdoors...However, I have a new love for fall and the start of school and back to a reasonable schedule.

However, I'm getting so burnt out on running the kids EVERYWHERE! When I originally set up the summer I had planned on a camp here and there plus a few smaller camps close by...Well this is the last week for camps and someone please tell me what I was thinking that driving ALL the way to south Boulder everyday twice a day was a good idea?!?! The only consolation I have right now is that Brooke loves the camp! And the drive up Highway 93 is rather beautiful!

So far this summer I trucked the kids downtown Denver, Golden, Long Lake Ranch and some rather close ones. And then up until last week we were at track 3 nights a week and swimming lessons one night a week and how could I forget dance one night. Now that I put it into that perspective it doesn't seem like that much but truly I'm tired of driving and waiting and waiting and driving. Maybe it also makes it worse because every weekend we are somewhere, the Renaissance festival, Heritage Square, the swimming pool etc etc...Maybe I'm still having nightmares from going Downtown everyday and the crazy traffic...Either way...only 3 days left of this South Boulder nonsense!

I keep telling myself that school is just around the corner and then I'll be rushing to pick the kids up because leaving work is not always easy etc etc...so stay tuned for that rant! I'll be wishing for summer again soon!

Dance Weekends!

So our past weekend was filled with dance rehearsal, pictures, dance recital and finally dance recital...Brooke did great through out everything...She loves to dance and be on stage and loves to be all about 'her.' Not sure where she gets that one from! Anyway...I love to watch her dance and see her progress from show to show. It amazes me what these kids can do and the strength, stamina and poise that all of them posses. I will admit that sometimes it is with a tear that I've come to the conclusion that my little girl has grown up and is totally over the 'awe' of her parents. In past dance weekends she has 'needed' me to help with an outfit or tie a shoe or something...but not anymore. She rushed off backstage in her sweatpants and rushed back to me after dancing in her sweatpants. I guess that all leaves more time for volunteering and supporting my local dance company though! I want to say a quick 'thank you' to Miss Lena for helping Brooke so much both with her dancing, but also with her confidence and self worth...She has learned so much from you! And she absolutely adores being with you! I'm still wondering what happened to my little chicken that has since lost all of her 'baby' qualities...No more baby face, no more relying on mom.

Tyler...

So this week I've had a number of quotes from Tyler that are just so darn cute...

While talking with his uncle Chad...

Chad: "Hey Tyler, are you going to come and watch me race this weekend?"
Tyler: "Maybe I will, Maybe I won't."

Just before falling asleep

Mom: "Tyler...your my little guy."
Tyler: "And your my girl" except Tyler's r's are more with a southern drawl accent...so girl isn't just girl...it is more giarrl....far too cute...

After being told his plans had changed just a little

Tyler: "Oh Darn!" again with the sourther drawl r...I have to be honest and say that I hope he never grows out of that one!

Mom: "Tyler, how do you spell your name?"
Tyler: "T-Y-L-E-ARRRR!"

Between that little accent and the far too cute little grin...I'm not sure I can hold a straight face when the boy needs some direction, discipline etc...

The bubble dilemma

I've come to an age where I'm realizing I have lived in a complete bubble for 30 years. I had 'heard' about things...but when it comes right down to it I closed my eyes...or something, never thought it really happened... Very recently I have been introduced to a whole new life, that I didn't even think people really did. But they do...it is very real and maybe, from a perspective of a very niave person, a little bit interesting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to move out of my bubble...not even for 10 seconds, but I find different things, ideas, ways of life just so interesting.

Since I turned 30...and felt rather old...I decided that I would jump out of my comfort zone at least 1 time every month during the year...In doing so, I have seen the difference in this huge world. Things that make me happy and alive can and are so meaningless to someone else. Hence, probably why there is such a difference of opionion...Maybe, if we would all see that other people are different, instead of wrong...this whole huge world would rotate just a little smoother. But I digress...I'm happy that I've been introduced and know and learn from these people who are choosing to live, for one reason or another, to be just a little different, yet exciting and happy...But in the end they are so much the same...just trying to get through each and every day with as little drama as possible! And like I've been told, if you aren't going to try and make yourself happy...then who is going to make sure that you are happy? I applaud these people that have gone against the grain and have choosen happiness!

Now with the dilemma...Since I'm 30 and have been perfectly content to live in my bubble should I continue to shelter my kids and encourage them to live in their bubble...or should I expose them at a young age so when they are 30 they aren't having these same revalations? Maybe it is all ok...to wait until you are older...you have established life with yourself and who you want to be; so when different ideas are passed along your horizon you aren't as judgemental, or impressionable! And it isn't like this is a life altering situation, merely just revelations. To be honest, life in suburbia living the 'american dream' isn't so bad, in fact I kinda like it! So...for now at least...my kids will continue on with the bubble! I may be revisiting this topic again when my kids grow a little and come home with questions I'm just not ready to answer...or maybe then I'll just roll with the situation and continue with my bubble...

Headlines...

Recently I've become a bit of a cynic I guess. But having learned the grassroots of newspaper and the power of a Headline at a young age I'm still having a hard time processing what I read and I'm still in huge disbelief that even half of this stuff gets published. The really sad part about this whole deal, I probably read the same headline 48 times before I really thought about it. No, I still didn't read the article which is the purpose right? The headline said 'Tiger's wife may file for divorce.' Really? This is newsworthy? It is like saying that Sandra Bullock may file for divorce, or I may jump out of an airplane or Charles Barkley may run through a pile of snakes. They 'may' do all these things or they 'may not' so where is the news or where is the article even going to lead me? And I can't believe that there are really people out there that care!

I guess where I'm going, is some freelance writer had a block and everyone knows if you put Tiger's name in a headline it must be news...so we won't lie, we just won't tell anything new, but I'll still fulfill some end of a contract or whatever...

Regardless a headline is supposed to summarize the article in a very inviting 'read me' type manner and this particular headline did nothing but make me laugh! 'Tiger's wife may file for divorce' just like every other celebrity couple out there, right? Perhaps this is part of the reason that paper media is becoming a thing of the past!

You see something new everyday!

So, I thought I had seen it all when it comes to Brooke getting different...illnesses, we will call it. We've been through all the standard ear infections and strep throat, the flu, even pnemonia...But this one, it was just plain wierd...She is playing outside with Tyler, while we hold an adult conversation with the neighbors. Next thing I know, Brooke is calling for help...Turns out, she threw up, in the bathroom...everything is good. However, I noticed her ear is bright red, a little swollen and she says painful...Should I be concerned yet? I feed her dinner (which she eats fine) put the kids to bed thinking everything would be fine in the morning, maybe she just bonked into something (she is only 7 you know).

Next morning rolls around and now there are blisters on top of the bright red, but she says it doesn't hurt anymore. So if I take her to the doctor, for something she is saying doesn't hurt, are they going to make the situation that much worse? I think I'll just keep her and watch how things progress...Well...apparantly the blisters did their job...the skin peels away, the swelling is almost gone and now the ear is just red...with no pain...

All in all I'm happy to report that Brooke is good to go...

These are things, that when you are thinking of having kids...no one ever tells you!