Coronavirus Take 1

So … this year, I turned 40 … Its kind of a number that you never think you'll get to... But now it seems, the world as we know it is crashing down. You see, this Coronavirus thing hit … and now we are all expected to just sit around and look at each other from the comfort of our homes. Lets be real... for 40 years I've been a scheduled out, go, go, go type of person... So for my calendar to literally be empty and not allowed to go anywhere it is a mean type of torture. I know, I seem like a big baby because it could be worse. I could actually have the virus and be confined to a bed, or be trying to take care of someone with the virus. So, here, just entertain me and let me complain for a few. And I get it, the virus spreads easily, people don't even know they could be carrying the virus, hospitals are overwhelmed, people are dying etc etc etc. I'm not trying to discount any of the above and I completely understand public health. But here are some of the things I'm worried about …

• People are loosing their jobs at an alarming rate, or maybe not loosing their job, but not working and not getting paid for the foreseeable future. And while many people will be ok for a little bit. They won't be ok for months. So, not to mention not being able to pay housing bills like rent or mortgage, what about not being able to buy food? I mean, yes, many people are 'being nice' and the government is trying to 'help out' but how can the government possibly able to help out the millions of people that didn't plan on this? 
• Small Businesses … seriously, with all the 'stay home' orders how are small business supposed to pay their employees, rent, taxes etc if they can't sell anything? This is people's livelihood. This is their passion, their blood, sweat and tears. 
•  The simple things -- you can't even buy a roll of toilet paper or a bottle of Tylenol without strategizing when to go to the store. All the hoarders around town have made things very difficult to even come up with meal options for families. 
• Grocery stores have raised prices or stopped offering sales at a time when the American Public is loosing their job. 
• The senate -- who is a division that works FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE -- could not even pretend to agree on terms of a stimulus package for days, meanwhile voting completely party line instead of trying to figure out how to help the people they work for. 

On the flip side I've seen the good in people 

• On my runs I've seen encouraging words on the sidewalk in chalk...
• I've seen people reach out to the elderly and ask if they need help...
• I've seen social media help a farmers small business (and really many small restaurants) 

We will get through this … and we will be stronger for it... but this whole "being in the middle of it" sucks a whole lot...

Christmas 2019

This year I officially suck … I didn't send out Christmas Cards at all and here it is, December 24th and I'm just sitting down to think about a possible Christmas Letter. I mean, what can I say? Life happens. I would be lying if I said that 2019 was anything short of a struggle fest. And no matter the amount of pre-preparation I do, I still have more to accomplish. Maybe I just set myself up with high expectations. Now I'm realizing, this could all be my fault. 

Lou had some big changes happen at work which in many aspects has been really good. However, he has been a permanent fixture at work, which then leads me to try and single parent through middle and high school drama. I'm sure not happy about the changes as I really don't think he is either. But we managed to make it this far... 

We have made an effort to try to spend more time together recently … hopefully that will help to get us all back to a comfortable situation, instead of trying to struggle through each week. We did participate in the Tough Mudder again, in Littleton -- which wasn't necessarily our favorite, but it did lend an opportunity for the kids to join us. Brooke, sadly had to sit this one out as she had sprained her foot in a Poms incident. And I'm not sure why I don't have one. single. picture. from that day.

Brooke and Tyler at the piano recital … Tyler was the only on to participate … Brooke didn't quite have her song good enough so she took the year off. 

Mexico -- by far my favorite picture of the year.

Some of our travel this year included Mexico in January (If we didn't go on this trip every year I think my kids would have severe melt down) July we went to Beavercreek and Steamboat, a soccer filled weekend in Vail in October and a weekend in Steamboat in November. Our travel was minimal this year, but hopefully we can make up for that in 2020.

Before the bike ride at the top of Vail Pass -- I love Colorado and all its beauty

Strawberry Springs in Steamboat

I have started playing soccer, in addition to working, running, helping out the soccer and Poms team, book club and trying to be the most supportive mom I can. I'm really not a great soccer player, but it allows me to get some exercise while hanging around a bunch of great ladies. The book club ladies (who are also wonderful) have encouraged me to read books I would never pick up on my own which is sometimes really fun and other times not so much. The people I've been working with have been great and it sure is funny how grumpy we all get when we see each other too much.  

Brooke -- has acquired two part time jobs in addition to track, cross country, poms, student council, junior class vice president, explorers, piano and a full class load. I think she has to fill up every single minute of every single day. She took me on her first college visit this year which was exciting and fun and emotionally crushing (for me). She is literally still my little baby and I'm certainly not very excited about her going away somewhere. She is ready, and shooting for the stars. Brooke got her license this year, which has been great for my driving situation, maybe not so great for my pocket book. I do miss our car ride conversations but I like that she can take herself to school and practice and whatever other place she has to be. Brooke joined the Arvada Explorer's program which is through the Arvada Police Department, they learn all the police lingo and what to do in certain situations and all other police things that I don't know about. They go on ride alongs quite often which shows Brooke that the stories you hear and real people … Child abuse and Sex trafficking are all very real things... even in Arvada. After Brooke's injury she was able to bounce back in both Poms and Cross Country very well. Brooke qualified for the regionals team in cross country which can be very humbling but a great experience. In Poms Brooke has been forced to help out and become more of a leader. Some people just don't want to put in the work that it takes to be successful which makes others on the team crazy. The Poms team did qualify for Nationals which will be a good experience for the team.  

During Brooke's college visit she got to experience some of the different programs first hand

The joke around the Poms team -- after every game Brooke has to get a picture with her 'boyfriend.' Too bad its her cousin. 

16th birthday fun

Academic Letter Day

These two girls have gotten so close this season, it makes my heart happy to see them laughing.

Brooke's running camp

Tyler -- has trudged through yet another school year. I think they call it 'insanity' -- right -- when you do the same thing over and over but expect different results? Every new school year I say, I'm going to be proactive and do this so that we don't have that problem … well every year something else pops up. I think I have said since Tyler was in second grade, when we get to this grade things will get better, when we get this teacher things will be better. I'm still waiting for things to get better. To give accolades where they are due, he does have a couple teachers this year that have been especially helpful and for that I will forever be grateful. In addition to school Tyler is still playing soccer and besides learning the game he continues to learn how to work with impossible people -- you know, the ones that yell at you for doing something, yet they do the exact same thing? -- he has made some really great friends, though and had some coaches that have been phenomenal. I love to watch him with his buddies and be silly and have fun. I love to watch his love and knowledge of the game translate on the field and I love to hear when he is proud of himself for this save, or that play. Tyler plays the piano still and amazes me how he continues to make progress on his songs. I don't ever get to hear the piano when I'm home, maybe that means I should be home more. Over the summer Tyler worked at Lou's shop to try and help out and also found several lawns in the neighborhood to mow. He really has made a name for himself on the mowing thing to the point where he was going to loose it if he had to tell someone no. Finally, at the end of the season he also was certified to start to ref soccer games. I'm not really sure how this works out in my favor because now I'm watching more soccer. We have all seen videos of crazy parents going after the officials. I figure they would be less likely if there is a parent right there. 

The Steamboat Tournament ...

Tyler and his buddy … very serious business over a bottle of root beer

My whole heart right here.

Contemplation with the coach … how do we improve?

Nothing quite like soaking sore feet in the river with the soccer buddies. The fish probably all cried a little with the stench... 

All in all the Krapes family is healthy and happy and looking forward to the hopes and changes brought from the New Year! Wishing you and your family the happiest of Holidays!       

Summer (ish) updates

These last few weeks at my house has been tough. I would like to say we are all learning and growing from the struggles, however I'm not sure that is the case. But … I did read something today, and I must have needed to read it. I don't remember verbatim but the meaning was, everyone who is successful has struggled, has failed, has had tough weeks. But, I want to take this all a step further … what do we classify as successful? Isn't that subjective? Isn't it different for everyone?

My 12 year old son had soccer tryouts this last week. His version of successful was 'to play with his friends and have a good coach.' I'm sure if you ask some of the other boys their versions were maybe different... maybe something like I want to move up a team or be on the top team or whatever. I guess part of us as parents wants our kids to be their version of successful so we do whatever it takes, include argue with the club as to why my kid isn't where I think he should be. I wonder... is this teaching the kid the art of learning how to deal with 'failure' or 'loosing' or 'setting more attainable goals'?

Wow -- when I actually take the time to sit down and write I do, sometimes, have good things to say.

To summarize our summer after the whole soccer tryouts -- Tyler made the team he deemed would be the best fit for him -- he got the opportunity to go to Steamboat to play in a soccer tournament in which the team placed 2nd. He worked with Lou quite a bit and practiced with the throwers at the high school. Oh -- and he found himself a few lawns to mow in the neighborhood. So kept him busy enough to stay out of trouble.

Brooke got herself two jobs and worked all of June. She then went to an Explorers Conference in July and had 3 -- yes 3 back to back to back Poms Camps (which is severely sprained her foot in) so she is currently playing catch up to not being able to dance or run for 6 weeks. She also went to a running camp with Katy Mackey (a professional runner with Brooks Running) and campaigned her way to be the Junior Class Vice President.

Lou and I took the kids to Beavercreek over the 4th of July and saw a summer concert, and figured out the art of relaxing by the pool -- we also went to Steamboat with the soccer team and then worked the rest of the summer. Again, not something I would recommend but -- you do what you have to do right?

Now that school has started and our life is resembling something of a reliable schedule I would like to say we are back on track … but when your daily schedule has all of us going different directions all day every day that isn't exactly the case. Either way we seem to be getting things under control. Fingers crossed ;) …

This whole mom thing ...

I remember the day I had Brooke, the craziness in the room, the almost dying part, after she arrived how I was left in the room to watch bowling at 2 AM. I remember the following days and weeks of no sleep, changing diapers, giant snow storms. I remember thinking 'When Brooke is this age things will be easier, when Brooke starts school things will be easier, when Brooke starts driving life will be easier.' Well friends, I lied. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

This week I took Brooke on her first college visit. And I waited until I got home … and then I cried. I can't even really tell you why I cried except that I think for 15 years I kept thinking things would be easier because she wouldn't be so dependent and now all I want is for things to stay the same. I want her to still need me. I want her to text me someone rolls their eyes at her and I want to know what she learned in class today and who she laughed with (or at).

For almost 16 years I have become so connected to what she is doing and how she is doing it that I can't imagine not. And not only can I not imagine it, I don't want to.

Now she starts that application process … and I will help her (and support her) and every time she turns the other way or leaves the room I will probably cry again because reality is coming that she will continue to move on with her life. Whoever suggested this whole mom thing … they were wrong! It is hard and mean, it makes you sick (literally) and then beautifully you become attached … so it hurts when they all grow up, when they don't need you, when independence finally kicks in.

Here is to hoping she still calls me (every few hours.)

Christmas 2018

These family pictures are so silly … on our way to Mexico last January... 

It is that time of year where I only have a million things to do but I'm not feeling motivated... So here I sit thinking about writing my annual Christmas Letter. As I think back over 2018 I think we had some positive growth -- you know moving in a direction that is mostly positive... I mean we had to have a few glitches and disappointments along the way but in the end when you look back there was a bigger plan. The kids have been keeping us busy and Lou and I choose to work an excessive amount, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean what is it like to have time to actually watch TV instead of having it on in the background? And soon enough the kids will decide they are way too cool to hang out with us … Until then I will suffer through every single freezing football and soccer game, run (in flip flops) to watch a cross country meet and listen to crazy parents yell at refs and coaches get frustrated. I have to admit it has been very entertaining. I mean, who would have thought putting a Poms coach in a square box while they watch their dancers perform could be entertaining? I digress …

Tyler and I enjoyed a Bronco game -- too bad the Bronco's are terrible this year. 

Tyler, this year my boy has grown … not only physically (he is currently as tall as me) but also academically. Like I have said in every Christmas Letter I have written, Tyler always has to push the envelope, make the schools think a little harder, have teachers take him in and make him focus. This year was really no different, except he had to spend most of his summer break taking Algebra. In my honest 'mom' opinion I actually thought it was really good for him because he was keeping it all fresh in his mind. Tyler, on the other hand, thought it was terrible. Last spring he was entered into a MathCon competition with students 1-2 years older than him across the nation and he placed in the top 10%. He didn't think this was a big deal, but I did. Tyler is still playing soccer in what has turned into a year round sport. Lou and I enjoy watching him play even if we are blown away, hailed on or sunburned. Tyler still loves the goal keepers position and it has been equated to being the Kicker's mom on the football team. Everyone knows when your kid messes up. We have met some great people through Tyler's love of soccer and I'm thankful for that. Tyler is still playing the piano, must be through osmosis because I don't hear him play very often … he says he practices when he gets home from school … Not really sure about that. Finally, because we aren't busy enough, Tyler joined the school track team. He said he joined it for the 'throwing' part, which is great … sure is funny though when he says he practiced with the sprinters. All in all Tyler is my 'Switzerland.' As in, I believe everyone likes him, he knows when to say something and when to keep his mouth shut. He seems to be everyone's friend... All great qualities, I think.

Tyler and some of his soccer buddies.

Tyler was bummed this day because we didn't allow him to hike far … He only had a few soccer games to play later.

These pictures are so hard to come by these days.

Tyler and some of his school buddies -- the last day of Elementary School... Funny I don't even miss not having an elementary age kid … 

Another group of Tyler's buddies. The only good pictures I get of the kid are when his friends are around. 

 This could be Tyler … After every game the first question I get is 'Did I earn my ice cream?' 

Brooke on one of our hiking trips

Brooke … I actually don't even know where to start with this girl. Since she has hit high school she has astonished us with both her determination and dream setting/goal oriented attitude. Brooke joined the track team in the Spring... we will say she didn't have a fantastic year but she made progress. She then joined the Cross Country team in the Fall and she persevered through injury, friend drama, dual sporting to take over 6 minutes off her 5K time... I was amazed and I feel like she impressed most people that saw her. Last spring Brooke also applied for a position with the FBI to go to Quantico for a week. Unfortunately she finished second in the running but it opened up so many other opportunities that she has followed through on. She has done several Academy's on Crime Scene Investigations and various simulations that she has enjoyed. Brooke was also sent to Washington D.C to compete in a Moot Court competition courtesy of a Colorado Supreme Court Justice. My mom and I also had to join Brooke to see what that whole thing was all about. In other school life Brooke made the Varsity Poms (Dance) team which has encouraged her to love hip-hop … a vast difference from her Ballet upbringing. From the sports to academics the coaches and administration have recognized Brooke numerous different ways for her accomplishments. The dual sporting almost sent Brooke to her breaking point. There were days she was at school for 13 hours per day only to come home to homework and other chores. At the end of the cross country season she said … "you know mom, I'll do it again, it wasn't that bad." Brooke is still taking Jazz and Ballet classes at a 'real' studio (her words) and absolutely loves her teachers (hence why we drive 45 min one way). Finally Brooke is also still playing the piano, although I think the teacher is a bit more of a counselor than working on piano skills. I'm actually ok with it, as long as Brooke is working through her issues with someone.

How could I forget? Brooke got her Driver's Permit this year... It has been fun and terrifying teaching a kid how to drive in Denver traffic.

On our trip to Washington DC the Supreme Court Justice set up a tour of the US Supreme Court... so fun!

In DC during some off time.

Brooke and Griffee were the only 2 from Pomona offered the spot to go to Nationals. 

Brooke's cross country coach knows her so well.

Brooke and her friends with their Academic P's

You know, it is really cute that Brooke's old dance friends are wearing school uniforms and Brooke is trying to pull of the 'thug life.' I love seeing that these girls still take time for each other even though their paths have all gone different directions.

The 'competition team' on the day of the State Competition.

As for Lou and I, I can't say there are many exciting changes for us. We still are working in the same places, occasionally we go run together, about every 6 months we find time for a date night but then look at each other because we don't know what to say. Last January we spent a week in Mexico enjoying the sun, the beach, hiking, dreaming about owning the beautiful houses. Lou and I participated in the Tough Mudder again for the 4th year in a row. This year was a little crazy as a hail storm came through as we were finishing. Tyler's soccer team had us travel to Steamboat for a fun few soccer filled days but beyond that we stayed in town. We managed to find some fun adventures along the way … the Ninja Warrior course in October, The Hot Chocolate Race also in October, Daughtry concert just recently

The Daughtry concert was at the Paramount Theater which is a very old, but  very cool venue. Would love to go back there. Just noticing the creepy lady in the background … I have no words.

Our Tough Mudder team. I love us!

While in Mexico one must sample all the different flavors of margaritas. 

   

What Are Some Things That Are Making You Happy?

You know, it isn't often that I sit down to write a post... I mean, I think I average maybe two posts a year. So when I do I would like to write down the good things that are happening, the things I've learned, how I've been forced to see another side or grow as a person. I have had a VERY challenging month personally but I don't want to remember that so I'm going to try and keep this about all the glimpses of light as of recently.

School started, as we all know … this year I have a sophomore who thinks she needs me, but really doesn't. Its fine though, I love that I know her world still... I love that she tells me every word said in her group at lunch and every assignment that she has to do. I mean I really don't care about the meaningless things ('so and so wouldn't let me sit in the shade today') but I absolutely love that she wants me to be in the loop and try to help her through her situations. I also love that she tries to deal with each situation on her own before crying to me about it. This year I also have a 7th grader who doesn't need me and doesn't even act like he needs me. It literally feels like an interrogation every single day after school to find out how his day was.

I was thinking that I can brag about my kids … I mean I really love all the positive things they are doing... but I'm sure I'll need something to write about in the Christmas letter so I'm going to hold myself back. But you know what I'm going to brag about? The schools... yes you read that right. It isn't often that I get the chance to praise schools as a whole (I mean the two my kids are at) so I'm going to do it... I have spent the better part of 10 years struggling to be happy with the situations that my kids are in and although I know it is only October I am truly happy and forever grateful for the places my kids are.

I'm going to start with the middle school, because lets be honest … not many people like middle schools -- I mean, when I was a student there I hated it, when Brooke was there I didn't love it, I assume if you are a staff member at a middle school there is a certain amount of a love/hate situation going on. Tyler is VERY good at throwing everyone for a loop -- Not really on purpose. This all started last year when he was put in a more challenging class and his teacher was saying 'Tyler doesn't belong in my class, Tyler should be teaching it.' It took a while but finally they got him in a class he should be in. So aside from making huge accommodations for Tyler most of his teachers have opened up a side to Tyler that all of us having been waiting for. They are spending lots of time with kids, getting them out of their shells to find out what they know, what they don't … where they can help them. I know there are many kids at the middle school that are trying to figure out where they belong and maybe along that journey are making choices that are not good ones. I'm happy that I'm not brainstorming with the school ways to get my kid back on track but I'm equally amazed that they have taken the time to work with those kids as well as the ones on the straight pathway. So... to all you internet trolls out there … I couldn't be happier with Moore Middle School...

I'm going to finish with the high school... I remember being in high school... at the time my main focus was to do everything I could to get out of there as soon as I could … AND that is exactly what I did... so forgive me if there were programs like the ones I'm going to describe and I was too focused to see them, but I also really just think things have changed … or Pomona is a needle in a haystack. The sheer amount of positive vibes that emulates from Pomona is astounding. And these are all programs that my kids are not even apart of (remember, I'm saving those posts for Christmas). Last year at a boys basketball game against the across town rival Pomona put in one of their 'Unified' players and the whole gym (student body, players, coaches, parents) cheered with tears in their eyes as the boy scored his first basket. As in the modern era -- someone videoed the play and sent it in to 9News, it was featured on the local news which isn't really the point. The point is that every person in the gym that night was pulling for the boy with down syndrome to be the star. The acceptance and opportunities I see for all of the students including the programs designed for disabled warms my heart and gives me hope for this world. Just the other day Pomona was again featured on 9News because one of the clubs organized a '10-10 I care day' which just says you do something nice for someone 10 times through the day... I mean how great is it when someone recognizes your efforts? I know that it doesn't happen nearly enough! Brooke said everyone from the counselors to the students to the admin staff were getting little notes, cups of coffee and all kinds of things through out the day. In reality the things being taught are things that are above and beyond the tested curriculum, they are real life lessons that people should know. And I feel is missed far too often.

So kudos going out to the schools today … and to the teachers/coaches that care and go the extra mile more often than not. I could not be happier...

End of the Year Thoughts

So almost a year ago I wrote a post about Brooke turning 14... It doesn't feel like a year ago, it feels like a month or so ago. Well now Brooke is making plans to get her permit. I just want to ask WHO THE HECK THINKS THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? Because it isn't me. You see, I don't mind having a crazy schedule and figuring out transportation. I mean, I mind, but not that much... You want to know why? Sometimes those drives to dance, soccer, school whatever are the most informative drives you will ever have. The kids open up in the car, they tell you stuff and you get a glimpse into the real person.

Mmmmm -- Well I started writing that only about 2 months ago ... I guess I suck at this whole blogging thing.

I logged on here today to write down my thoughts as the school year comes to an end. I meant to write about good things and maybe some struggles. Hoping to write down memories so in a few years when the kids start graduating I can use this as reminders. Well, now I just find myself a little sad. Sad that I only have 3 more years until my oldest graduates, goes out into this giant world and I'm sure does great things. Which then means 6 years until my youngest graduates. 6 more years and then I won't have to call schools, teachers, admin about why he is sitting in the back of the class eating his stupid chips, why they aren't worried about challenging him or pushing him to his top potential. 6 more years of figuring out crazy but worthwhile schedules. Only 3 more dance recitals and 6 more piano recitals ... I mean, I don't even know...


As for my thoughts -- As in typical Brooke fashion, she went into Pomona and made a name for herself. I mean, not like some of the big deal athletes who letter the first day out or whatever, but in academics (where it honestly counts the most). She got involved, both with things I knew about and things I didn't. She set a goal and met those goals... Not without struggle and tears and some failures. She caught the eye of the FBI and a Colorado Supreme Court Justice (all for positive things I promise). She figured out ways to challenge herself and have fun. She found and then lost a first boyfriend. She learned about dances, and crushes, and mean girls, and teachers she didn't get along with and I'm proud to say she has lived through it all and managed to learn and grow along the way. Pomona has been good for Brooke and I would like to think that most people would says that Brooke has been good for Pomona...

Brooke -- During her Moot Court Trip to Washington D.C

Tyler -- well as in typical Tyler fashion, we struggled a bit... we struggled with communication and with people following through on their end. We struggled with behavior kids in his class and Tyler having low tolerance for them. We struggled on learning how to work with his teacher(s) and we struggled with final decisions. But we learned a bunch. And Tyler was still able to have fun, to form a great group of friends, to learn and grow as a person. Tyler also found himself opportunities (not always knowingly) to challenge himself. He got involved with things that help the community and found himself enjoying it. He learned to be a stronger leader and after some struggle moments he learned that making good decisions is way better than dealing with the consequences of bad decisions. As he moves on from the elementary school I can only hope that the middle school does better in challenging him, they do better with the behavior issues and that Tyler does better to push himself instead of hoping someone pushes him.

Tyler was in the top 8 7th/8th graders for a MathCon competition. Tyler is only in 6th grade.

As a parent this year I have learned that every kid will get through a school year and by default they will learn. Sometimes the road to end is a bit windier than another person and with my kids I have learned that while one takes the straight road, the other maybe takes 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I'm thinking this is why I have two children... completely opposite ... to teach me to change and adapt.

As a parent ending my tenure as an elementary school parent I find myself wondering a bit how I got here. 10 years ago when it all started I never was able to imagine being in this position. I'm a little sad that my kids are older, but as with all things, we change and grow and realize that we no longer belong here. Moving past the sadness I'm excited for my kids and their new opportunities and challenges.