Things I've Learned With 3 Days Left ...

With 3 days left in this running challenge... I want to share things I have learned...

• You can run when you have the flu -- It might not be pretty, or fast or even a little bit enjoyable but it can be done. And it may have saved me from actually throwing up.
• You can actually run every day for over 30 days ... and you won't die. You will be sore, have fatigued muscles, be tired and such but you won't die.
• Your body can run more miles than you ever thought possible. And although it is difficult, running more miles than last week is possible.
• You become more and more creative with your time the busier that life gets.
• You figure out that running on your lunch break is not ideal but is possible.
• You learn how to run in 0 degree temperatures, it isn't fun but it is possible and although you feel like the Michelin man it isn't all bad.
• When you run in fresh snow it is possible for snow balls to build in the tow of your shoes. That actually isn't that enjoyable either.
• People have a hard time learning how to shovel their sidewalk.
• When fatigue does set in, you must pay attention to changes in the road, otherwise there is a very real possibility of tripping.
• Running with friends tends to be more enjoyable than running alone.
• You will dread everyday because of having to fit a run in, but then after the run is finished you feel that much closer to your goal.
• This challenge has taken up far more time than I ever imagined.
• Rest days are very much enjoyed -- I promise to enjoy more of them from now on. 

There are probably a million more little things I have learned, and I know that I have complained about what I signed up for almost every day but the bottom line is I'm probably stronger than I was. I'm still in shape (to run) and my jeans fit a little better than they did before. So far I don't have any negative outcomes which means it must have all be worth it. There is even a small possibility that I will do it again next year...remember I did say small...

Now if I can just get through these next 3 days.

Running Challenge Update!

So the challenge was/is to run at least 1 mile everyday between Christmas and New Years. When you sign up for stuff like this you don't ever think about the day to day troubles that one will have trying to fit a run in. Some of the day to day situations have been ... how much laundry that one produces running in 0 degree temps, how tired one becomes from running every day, how annoying run tracking apps can be. When you sign up for things like this you think about how happy you will be when you are done, how strong you will be etc. Probably that's the glamour that makes us all want to sign up.

I can't tell you how much this is driving me crazy. I haven't actually counted how many days I have run yet, or how many days I have to go. I actually don't even care too much about the distance or how fast/slow I'm running. The girls at the club are telling me I should end it at the 5k race on January 1st. Right now the thought of running a race kinda makes me want to throw up. It is so hard to find the time and the clothes and even the motivation, for the first mile, then usually it isn't so bad. But it is Christmas time and there is so many things to do (my kids remind me on a daily basis what I haven't done). I won't lie, I'm not feeling very supported in this endeavour either. It isn't like people are telling me that they will take care of stuff so I have an extra 20 minutes. And would 20 minutes even be enough time because once you get started 5 miles maybe doesn't sound that bad. So basically we will say I hit rock bottom, I was so tired on a run early one morning (like maybe 5 am) that I guess I forgot to pick up my feet and fell. Lucky for me I learned (slowly) how to put my hands out but still got my knee. It was that point right there that I wanted to sit on the sidewalk and cry and forget the whole stupid challenge. But I picked myself up and ran home. Which was when I think my run tracker app on my phone was a little (a lot) off on the mileage. That was probably the least of my worries but combined with the rest of the run it did add to the irritation. It was then that I received a text from a friend that said we are on the downhill side, we can do this. Then the weather forecast says a balmy week in with lows not going below 25 for the week ... maybe I can do this. The ice is slowly melting off the sidewalks, and yes my knee is sore and yes I'm still tired but I'm also stronger, both mentally and physically. And I'm on the downhill side of this. When I started a guy that had done this before said "...when you run every day you don't have time for your muscles to get sore. You don't have a sore this or that." Well he is right, just extreme amounts of tight quads and calves. That tends to loosen up.

This has almost had the same mental game that happens during a race. You start off really great and then about 1/2 way through you think to yourself how dumb this all is and you will never do it again but then the last few miles come along and it all seems manageable again. Then about 2 hours after the finish you start to figure out the 'next' thing. So I'm assuming once you play this game for awhile that the game gets easier? Maybe more manageable? Maybe it doesn't... I don't know.

A girl at the running club last week said she felt so lazy, she didn't run for 4 days in a row. I looked at the one friend doing this challenge with me and we both said we couldn't wait to have 4 days off in a row. I wonder if I'll think the same after this is over. Or if I'll even be able to go 4 days without running.

Annual Krapes Christmas Letter...

Here we are in December yet again and my cards went out today with no letter in, again. I actually like posting it online. I guess I don't care that much that creepy people can read about us. I don't have that exciting of a life. We had a great year, my kids are growing up, heck before I know it they will be leaving and Lou and I will be on our own...Not sure I can handle that right now.

 

 

We were blessed to be able to take a number of vacations this year. I'm so grateful that my mom and dad like us well enough to invite us along on their excursions. We went to Cabo, Mexico in January. We had a great time with the short plane flight, with the beach, swimming in the ocean, and exploring downtown. We had a few weekends in Beaver Creek, which my kids love to do, we went to Las Vegas with the dance company so Brooke could compete at Nationals and then we had an excursion to Arizona for Thanksgiving. I think it is safe to say that my kids have been more places in their short lives so far than I have. I think that means spoiled, but I could be wrong.

 

 

My little man...Tyler has been a giant inspiration to all of us. He is so fun and happy (90% of the time). He is in second grade and in his words he is "still waiting for the teachers to trick him." Although I'm happy he is a confident I'm a little sad that he has yet to be 'tricked.' Tyler has been blessed with having a teacher that is up on the technology curve and he has the luxury of having his own mini I-pad to learn on for the school year. He has been very excited about that. Tyler is still playing soccer. In the spring it was still small, 3 vs 3, but in the fall it changed to a bigger field with a goalie and more players. Lou also took over coaching in the fall which turned out to be a bit of a learning curve for both of them. This winter he will continue with indoor soccer. In the summer Tyler ran track, which he loved (although he would deny it today). The track coaches really like his ethics and he had fun at practice. No meets for him though. In his words he would have to get up too early to go. The other really exciting thing for Tyler! This summer is was finally comfortable to swim in the whole neighborhood pool. By the end of the summer he was jumping off the high dive (AKA the lifeguard stand) into the deep water. For anyone that knows us very well we all know what a big deal this is. Finally Tyler started playing the piano in February. He is a natural. He performed his first recital in April (Old McDonald) but since then has made great progress. I'm so proud that he has found a few hobbies that he keeps busy with. When Tyler isn't busy with his own soccer, school and piano he is busy with the sport of the season. Right now is pretty busy with football (Peyton Manning), hockey and basketball. The funny fact about all of this is that he knows so many random facts about teams that I couldn't possibly begin to remember.

 

Brooke is in 5th grade this year. She is also privileged with an amazing teacher who is also up on the technology curve. She is lucky to also get I-Pads in her classroom. So three classroom's in the whole school have the devices and my kids are both in the classes. We couldn't be more fortunate. She again is motivated to challenge herself in all subjects. I'm happy to see that. Brooke is such a perfectionist that it sure can be frustrating when things don't go quite as perfect as she would have hoped. Brooke is still playing the piano. She is doing well despite the fact that she doesn't have a ton of time to practice. Lucky for us we have a great teacher that is patient. Brooke is still dancing an amazing amount. This past year was her first year of competitions. She had three different dances that she competed for most of the season and she wasn't in love with any of them. Her group did well enough to make it to the national competition so off we went to Las Vegas. Let me be the first to say that taking 10 year old to Vegas was not mom of the year material. Hopefully we don't have to go back to Vegas with children for awhile. This dance season Brooke has learned a solo, and 4 other dances. She seems to like these dances a lot more so hopefully there will be more positive behavior out of the situation. Brooke also had the opportunity to work with some choreographers from Chicago and Florida, she has done workshops with many big names in the dance industry. I'm not sure she even understands the amazing opportunities she has had. My little Brooke is growing to be such an amazing young lady. I'm just hoping the pre-teen attitude passes us by.

 

 

It is so much easier to talk about my kids, or really anyone else. I am still working at Four To Go. As a business we are doing well. I have had help making an e-commerce site for the business and although it is still a work in progress it is starting to do great things. In the process of that I was working a lot and my attitude was reflecting that I wasn't doing what I wanted. I've been leading the running club. It has been fun to be associated with such a great group of ladies. We went to Palisade again to run the race through the vineyards near Grand Junction, and although I didn't have a great race I had fun during the trip. I've started racing 10k's also. I'm not super excited about my times yet, but like everything else in life its a work in progress. I still try to help out in the kids classroom every few weeks and I've done my fair share of re-learning to help the kids with their homework. Recently, as I'm sure you have read on my blog I have taken up a running challenge where you run at least a mile every day from Thanksgiving to New Years. You can read all about my adventures with that challenge on previous posts. 15 days into it though, I'm glad I started and will be even happier when it is over. It is a whole lot harder than I thought it would be.

 

My dear Lou, works... alot. There is no other way to say it, so the nights that he is home we take full advantage of having him around. Like I also mentioned he is coaching Tyler's soccer team. He is good for the boys and he is having a great time with them. Lou also has been volunteered / nominated to be Vice President of the PTA at the kids school. As if the guy didn't already have enough to do. I try to help out when I can, but I also have to be careful not to step on anyone's toes. Lou has been very supportive of all the crazy running ideas I come up with, he is always the first to help out when someone needs it. For example, the dance company was moving studio locations. Midnight, one night, he was on his way home and saw them working. Instead of driving by he stopped to help and ended helping for 3-4 hours and ended up with only a few hours sleep. Sometimes his go getter attitude kills me, but other times I'm happy he is as motivated as I am.

 

 

Again, thank you for reading my yearly re-cap. I try not to sugar coat it and make it seem like everything in our life is perfect, believe me, some days are super difficult to get through. In the end we are happy, healthy and living a very full life.

 

 

 

We wish everyone the best! A very exciting and happy New Year, a Very Merry Christmas filled with friends, family and lots of fun.  

 

 

 

 



Running and Plank Challenge

One of my great friends and gym partner went to New Zealand for a month. I'm so jealous in some respects. But I'm also sad that my buddy that motivates me is gone for the month of December and I have to find some other motivation to get up silly early to go to the gym. I thought I would do this insanity workout that my neighbor gave me...and maybe I still will but before Thanksgiving I saw a challenge from Runner's World to run at least a mile every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I signed up...Certainly I can do that...it won't be bad... Then a few days later I was reading how good planking is for you so I thought I would do the 30 plank challenge to go with the running challenge. Well now a mere 8 days into it...I can tell you How. Hard. It. Is.

Silly me...on the plank it only started at 20 seconds and then your done. Well when I plank I hold it for a minute anyway so no way am I starting at 20 seconds. I'll start at a minute. Then Lou gave me a great idea, I could put weight on my back to make it harder. All great ideas until you get to day number 6 and add 40 seconds to the time the sheet says. That really sucks, then actually planking for that long sucks more. I'm glad I haven't made the effort to dig the weights out of the basement yet. So far so good. I'm only complaining now so you see how rough it has been for me.

For Thanksgiving we went to Arizona. I'm pretty sure that no one told me how fabulous it is to run there. The elevation is only like 1,250 feet so you can actually breathe and it is flat. Like really flat. Some guys that worked for the hotel took me out on the first day and showed me some routes. I was super happy about that. And it was fun to hear from locals on different vegetation and things to do in town. My times we so good, I couldn't believe it. Day number 2, I head out on my own...of course I made a turn that I didn't know where I would end up so I went longer than I had planned. Which only means that the heat got to me a little but nothing I couldn't handle. Day 3 was good also. It was number 4 when I had to have the first come to Jesus meeting with myself. We drove home that day and after sitting in a car for 12-13 hours the last things I wanted to do was go run. I kept telling myself how it was only a mile, no big deal. So I went...9:30 at night and jumping and every sound because I haven't run at night in forever. Did I mention Brooke had a timer on me and said she was going to come looking for me if the timer went off? Oops. Lesson learned, never let your 10 year old dictate how long you can be gone. Day 5 (an unexpected 8 miles with the club) and 6 were ok...but then came the cold and the snow and more meetings with myself. You have come this far. It is 5 degrees outside and snowing and yes people don't shovel their sidewalks and probably there is ice underneath but you have come this far. And running the in cold isn't that bad. So out I went with 4 layers of shirts and 2 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of gloves. And honestly aside from the ice that hung from my eye lashes and the frozen facial skin, and the snow balls that ended up by my toes I had an amazing run, all alone in the cold.

This running challenge has forced me to do things I usually wouldn't, it has made me accountable, and I'm grateful that I found it. And changing up my routine from the gym can only help me and make me stronger. I have been a bit tired from running every day so the gym has been skipped but I'm positive that I will be ready to go back next week or perhaps even try the insanity workouts in the morning.

I must admit that with work things, with Christmas things, with kids activities and Dance activities finding time to run has been another part of that challenge. Again, it comes down to when you want something bad enough you just figure it out. You don't care about all of the excuses, because believe me, I have had plenty. You just figure out how to get it all done. My kids and Lou think I'm crazy but it's ok...I'm used it.

Halloween 2013

It is November 1st ish and the holidays are looming and I'm wondering where the year has gone. Just last night Lou told me that he found some pictures and it reminded him of some things we had done that he forgot all about. It got me wondering, maybe we just get too busy and too wrapped up in everyday life and there we are forgetting all these fabulous memories. Thank God for pictures right? So here is Halloween at our house!

Last weekend we had our (what has turned into) annual Halloween Party with our little 'group' of friends from school. I'll admit that this part has turned into being a little more about the parents than the kids, but I still think the kids have fun. I'm sure that soon enough they will ditch us! Last year the parents started dressing up and I vowed after that costume that I would start finding much more comfortable costumes. It was better this year although the glasses and ear rings didn't last all night. Clip on ear rings...who would have thought those things could hurt so much?

Trick or Treating was fun this year, despite the wind. We had a rather large group of the kids' friends and they lasted 2 1/2 hours. They have so much candy that they will never do anything with. Thank goodness dad takes it to work...

 

The pumpkins. This is the first year that the kids did their own and except for cleaning out the inside they did it on their own and then made fun of me for picking an easy design. I like easy, especially when our 'free' time is so limited.

 



 

 

still learning...

Long intervals between posts can mean I'm either extremely busy and have forgotten that my original goal of having a journal of sorts is not going to write itself, or I'm going through some days/weeks/months of a struggle that will soon come out. Right now it is a combination of both. As a mom of young children I'm constantly busy. I know this and I'm choosing to be the best mom I can right now because soon enough I won't have this opportunity. I know that I have committed to certain things and if it kills me I will fulfill those commitments. Although, this has not been without constant self encouragement. I often wonder how people with more than 2 kids figure this out. I wonder how I will spend all my time when I don't have these opportunities.

I have a giant complaint though. I have second grader who is a fairly smart kid, but he has been killed with homework. My complaint is they have my kid for 6 hours a day. Why, why why can't they get enough work in during the day that they have to send home an hour of work home per night? And kids that don't have the home support that my kids do...what are they doing? I'm positive that when I was in second grade homework was no where near this amount and I would like to say that I'm a somewhat successful person. I haven't really mentioned this frustration to Tyler yet and I doubt I will, doesn't seem very supportive if he knows that I think the teacher isn't doing the best job.

Some things I have learned it the last few weeks.

• There are moments when you can see the kids having an amazing amount of fun and they 'get it' or the 'light bulb comes on.' These moments make it 'all' worth it. All the money, all the effort, all the lack of sleep. A few weeks ago I watched Brooke take a dance lesson with just her and the teacher and she was so happy. He would say all of these long dance terms and she understood, made the changes and was amazing. Not a week later Tyler had a rough day and I had a conversation with him that if he really wanted to be a great soccer player then he needed to step up and be that guy (nothing like telling a 7 year old to step up) but he did. He was aggressive and playing his position and encouraging other players. I couldn't have been more proud of him. These moments when you watch your kids 'get it' could not be more amazing.

• I don't always have to be every one's "upper." I have watched people that come into work 'just to say hi' but really they feel better after they have been around. I realized that people sometimes just need to have someone say something to them because they need something to feel better. And although I like being a person that helps others, I don't always have to be that guy. Sometimes I can be the one that needs it.

• There is not a person I have been in contact with that has the intention of doing something that will have a negative affect. It happens, I agree but not with the initial intention. If all of us in this giant world would understand that I think many many disagreements would be avoided.

• On that same note, if everyone would spend more time worrying about themselves and less time worrying about what everyone else is doing life would be a whole lot better.

• Finally, I had to be reminded just today that this world does not revolve around me...therefor when people change things I can't take it personal but learn to roll with the punches.

• Also...while being reminded that everything does not revolve around me I was also reminded that everything happens for a reason and so obviously there is something I learned and it is time for me to move on to the next chapter.

My thoughts and others...

Being that I live such a busy scheduled lifestyle I rarely have time to watch tv. And when the television is on in our house 9 times out of 10 it is turned on to a Rockies game that my son ‘has’ to watch. I kind of like my ‘living under a rock lifestyle’ however, I guess I did miss out on the VMA’s. I honestly don’t really care about missing that, however, I can’t fully join in a conversation about the happenings on the VMA’s. Having said the giant disclaimer I’ve read enough headlines to know that Miley Cyrus made a spectacle of herself and sadly I can’t say I’m surprised. Disappointed, yes but not surprised. I’m sad that every girl out there who watched and loved Hannah Montana now can enjoy this spectacle of happenings. I’m sadder to say that I have a daughter that falls into that category.

I keep telling myself that I have spent her short 10 years shielding her from the big bad world of women selling themselves short and in just one summer that can all be dashed away. Brooke hasn’t mentioned the whole thing and I honestly hope that she is still too young and innocent to care about it, however, when we went to Vegas over the summer and she did see far too much she did say something and her something was far from approval. I guess I should be proud of that

None the less one mom did go on a small rant on her own blog and I feel the need to share her thoughts also.

Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Yes, this is what happens when you constantly hear everything you do is awesome. This is what happens when people fawn over your every Tweet and Instagram photo. This is what happens when no responsible adult has ever said the word “no,” made you change your clothes before leaving the house, or never spanked your butt for deliberate defiance.

If you ever even consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run up and twerk so you will see how ridiculous twerking looks. I will duct tape your mouth shut so your tongue doesn’t hangout like an overheated hound dog. I will smack any male whom you decide to smash against his pelvis – after I first knock you on your butt for forgetting how a lady acts in public.

Why would I do that? Because I love you and I want you to respect yourself. Miley Cyrus is not edgy or cool or sexy. She’s a desperate girl screaming for attention: Notice me. Tell me I’m pretty. See how hot I am. I know all the guys want me. All the girls want to be me.

You probably know girls who will emulate this behavior at the next school dance. Don’t do it with them. You are far too valuable to sell yourself so cheaply. Walk away. Let the boys gawk and know in your heart that they see only a body that can be used for their pleasure and then forgotten.

I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt sad because I haven’t gushed over everything you’ve done. My role is to praise when praise is due, but also to offer constructive criticism and correction when it is needed as well. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt demoralized because your Instagram following isn’t in the thousands, and I’m sorry those “selfies” can never capture how amazingly beautiful you truly are. I’m sorry if you’ve ever wished you had a friend instead of a mom, and I promise you that I will probably get worse when you hit high school.

Dear daughter, I am going to fight or die trying to keep you from becoming like the Miley Cyruses of the world.

You can thank me later.

It’s perfectly okay to disagree with me. Prove your point with facts, and I’ll consider your argument. I conceded to those who raised good points I may not have initially agreed with, and I appreciate you gave me something to think about. That’s what conversation and debate is all about. Open-mindedness. Respectful interaction.

Dear Haters
Here’s what’s not okay: wishing ill on a child. The desire that my daughter gets knocked up by age 15? Brilliant. Ideas about her sexual activities with a football team? Thought-provoking. You get the full wrath of every Mama Bear on the planet for this one. The whole idea of my post is that our girls are beautiful and valuable, and they shouldn’t cheapen themselves. Is there really a problem with this message?

Here’s another thing that’s not okay: F-bombs. Vulgarity is no excuse for a lack of a thesaurus. Yeah, I get that you’re passionate about allowing pre-teen girls to express their sexuality, but pick another adjective. Coincidentally, f is also the first letter of “facetious.” It means “not serious” or “in jest.” As in, I was being facetious when talking about duct taping my child’s head. Give me some credit. I unconditionally love my kids and would never hurt them. I would go total ninja on anyone who did. Besides, they’ve used all the duct tape to make wallets and purses.

Why Do We Do This to Our Girls?
My daughter and I have talked about this topic many times before Miley made sports fans afraid to bring Number One props to football games. She gets it, but it doesn’t hurt to remind her (and thousands like her) that she is an amazing and valuable person whose worth is not dictated by her body or willingness to titillate. The VMAs brought a rush of maternal emotion to the surface. Was it harsh to single Miley out? Yes, but my daughter doesn’t have the same connection to the other performers. As a mom, my heart breaks for Miley and the countless girls who feel like they need to do these shocking things to be relevant or important or loved. I want to hug Miley and tell her she is too precious to allow handlers to mold her into this caricature of womanhood. I would love to have a time machine to take her 20 years into the future so she can see with the benefit of hindsight.

Those of you who do not have daughters will never truly understand what it’s like to see that beautiful baby grow up and be constantly demoralized by a society that picks her apart. Oh my goodness, they are perfect! Ask a group of junior high girls what they think of themselves and you’ll hear, “I’m too fat,” “I’m not pretty,” “Everyone else has a boyfriend,” “I’m the only virgin,” or “Why doesn’t anybody like me?” Why do they feel this way? Because we as adults support a freakin’ culture that tells them that thin is sexy, that ugly girls are worthless, that there is something wrong with you if you don’t have a partner, virginity is a disease, and we don’t love you enough to spend time with you. No wonder these girls do whatever it takes to get someone – anyone- to notice them.

Girls, based on my blog, you have more than 2.5 million people who have noticed you and want to lift you up so you can live a great life. Learn from us old ladies who made mistakes. Here’s what we’ve learned:

1.       It’s okay to be a lady. Really.

2.      You will experience a broken heart. Most guys will be distraught about losing you, but a select few will be complete jackasses who don’t give a damn. Listen to your friends. If they say the guy is trouble, stay away.

3.      Men are not your enemy, nor are they your toys. Yes, each boy or man you meet has feelings, hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes and more. Treat him with respect.

4.      Love and respect yourself. Look at yourself. What’s not to love? You are a beautiful and unique creature, and there is no one like you anywhere else in the world. I know there are times when it seems like there is no one out there for you, but be patient. Friends and boyfriends arrive when the time is right. There are people out there who NEED to know you, people whose lives would be better if they spent just five minutes with you. Know that about yourself. You are infinitely lovable. You are infinitely valuable. Never sell yourself short.

5.       You will never make everybody happy, and some people are going to dislike because you may think differently or you just happen to breathe air. That’s the lesson this old lady had to re-learn this week.

Summer 2013

I want everyone to know that I have stopped licking my wounds from my sad performance at Palisade. Ok, well I stopped licking them before I even did the write up about how bad it was, but I've picked myself up and got a new plan. We will see how this works because I'm a little nervous...I did a 10 mile run in Avon / Vail area and it was hard but so good...really worked at giving me my confidence back. I had a great 8 mile run followed by the 13 miler. The 13 was hard because it was hot and I never put out enough aide stations but I still finished in good time. My legs recovered well enough sooo...the new plan....

I'm going to race a 5K on Sunday, I've run this race the last two years and been able to improve every year so I'm excited to see what happens. Then Saturday I'm signed up for the Slacker 1/2. This is a fast course but it is at altitude so we will see. I ran part of this course last year and it tore my legs up but it is a fun course and the after party is good and I got a free entry from a friend so it worked out. I'm hoping to be a little under 2 hours. If that happens I will just race short races for the rest of the year. If not, there really isn't a plan C so I will still race short races the rest of the year.

To prepare myself for the heat I did a 3 mile run in over 95 degree weather and then a track workout in the wind and over 95 degree weather. Both times it felt like I was running in mud. My time for the 3 miles was respectable and I didn't want to see disappointment so I didn't bother to time myself...telling myself that it was good enough that I was out there trying.

Well those previous paragraphs were written when I still had time on my hands...I didn't have time to update so here you go...I ran the Father's Day 5k finishing 2nd in my division for the 3rd year in a row but again improved the time so that is good. The Slacker was a tough race, that running downhill is rough, but oh so beautiful and fun. I really enjoyed the race, the friends, everything. My time a 1.53:55...Yes currently my PR. So I'm happy with that. I have had a total carefree attitude when it comes to running now...If I don't want to run 10 miles I don't (but many times I still do). Every week since I have gone to track telling myself I will only do part of the workout, every week I finish the whole thing. Maybe all I needed in the first place was a new attitude, not an end goal.

Our summer...In June we were to packed full between track for Tyler, me training and Brooke dancing. We went to Vegas for a week for dance. The kids had an enlightening experience, but they made so many fabulous memories. And Brooke danced well. I'm so proud of her...she has an amazing amount of confidence to get up on stage in front of judges and thousands of people and she dances her heart out. I know I couldn't/wouldn't do it. After we landed from that trip we were informed that my Grandma passed away, which is a very sad situation but I'm choosing to be positive. We were home for 2 days and left again to go to Iowa. The trip was fantastic for my kids and if I'm being honest then I would admit that it was a great trip for me too. Since coming back it seems like all four of us have been just trying to figure out how to live day to day and go back to our crazy days.

Palisade Race Report

So I have avoided it, cried about it and finally made my peace with it...Palisade was rough. No, let me rephrase...Palisade the trip was great, just what I needed to fix me. (Not that I was broken too badly). The race itself was rough. I have now waited over a week to give my race report because I again had to process it all...

I drove over to Palisade on Friday, following some friends. I was making efforts to stay hydrated but I'm not positive now that I was hydrated. Anyway, we checked into the hotel and then decided to find a winery to hang out at. We found a really nice one with a patio and good wine. It was really nice and relaxing and nice to be with friends.

We went to dinner and all the timing was working out great. Got up early for the race and I had a stomach ache, I thought it was nerves so I ignored it all and went on with my usual activities. The beginning of the race was low key as this race is really small...really small. I started out feeling great and I was running a great pace about 8.34 min miles for the first 3 miles. Then there is a giant hill and my time was 10 min. I was actually happy with that because it is a tough hill. Mile 5, 6 and 7 were good, back to 9 min miles and then the turn around...I got dizzy, a stomach ache, dry heaves...I tried to run through it but it kept getting worse so I had to walk. I walked for 30 min, through 2 aide stations and couldn't handle being on the course anymore. I started running again with 3 miles left and I was able to run the first mile but had to walk up all the hills. Needless to say I was beyond disappointed. I cried and thought I was ok and cried some more. I have yet to look up the official time, and I really don't care what it says. While I was walking I was texting Lou and he said it best..."you need to get over yourself and forget about the clock and just run, you are stronger than this." It might be right in that I need to forget about the time, but clearly I wasn't stronger than this. Along the way a girl from the club had injured her knee...I walked with her for awhile but ended up leaving her when I started running again. We ended up going back to help her, piggy back her and carry her but she finally crossed the finish line and go her medal. This just goes to show that we leave no runner behind.

 

 

In all of my thoughts since the race (and trust me I had plenty of time to think since I had a 3 1/2 hour drive home), I still don't know about the stomach issue but I have come to realize that even the best athletes have crappy days. The day after the race I was going to quit running, the next day I figured I needed to stop licking my wounds and figure out what I was going to do. Right now the plan is recovery last week, a long run this week, short run next week one more long run and then taper and try to run the Slacker 1/2 marathon. And I know I'm not out trying to set any records I just can't slow down my racing on such a terrible outing. I've also learned through all of this that the time really doesn't matter...all that matters is that I was out there making an effort and that every day I make an effort to better myself. I seem to be the only one that cares what kind of time I do and where I place.

 

 

Long run accomplished!

"Racing teaches us to challenge ourselves. It teaches us to push beyond where we thought we could go. It helps us to find out what we are made of. This is what we do. This is what it's all about." -- Patti Sue Plumer

In the last 2 weeks my running has gone from "I hate this training all the time and having to run such long mileage" with tons of frustrations of running on the treadmill because the weather has been snowy and wet. I even told some people that I may or may not be on strike from signing up for more races and just being able to run when I am able and however far I want, that I am going to spend my summer hiking instead of having to train all the time. But after the weekend I have a little more confidence back and things are looking up in my world. Ok, I'm still not signing up for more races but I'm not mad that I did anymore. That is progress. Over the weekend I finished my last long run for the training session and I think I might be all down hill from here meaning that runs will hopefully be easier and little more fun filled.  

Saturday morning it was a brutal long run associated with many self to self meetings reminding me that this is all possible and at the end all worth it. Lets just say when I thought I could just run straight home instead of the 1/2 mile out of the way loop I had to ask myself how I would feel 15 minutes after I was done. Happy that I accomplished such feats or bummed because I shorted myself a measly 1/2 mile? Running 1/2 mile comes down to 5 minutes really and I had to be reminded that I would only feel guilty all day long for not taking the extra 5 minutes after I had already taken the time to run 12.5. And yes, I was painfully sore all day Saturday, but not sore enough to lay in bed the next morning and miss out on running with the club. So there would be the confidence level. If I can do back to back runs like that I should be fine for this 1/2 marathon coming up. Don't get me wrong, there is discouragement in the fact that I haven't been able to run the track in a month and I haven't done many tempo runs so I'm not setting any records, but I'll be able to finish with a smile on my face. Sometimes, that has to be the goal.  

Great life lessons!

Today, keeping the day easy, I was reading a blog and I read something that totally rang home. I wish I would have listened a bit more when I was a teenager so that I wouldn't have to learn as many lessons when I was growing up.

This is her list...

12 Things I Would Want My 12-Year-Old-Self to Know:

1. Being perfect is over-rated. No One and No Thing is perfect. Striving for perfection will only make you unhappy. Remember to always show up as who you are, and do not apologize for that. Your job is to be the best Emma you can be. Be yourself. Be your own person. Always do and say what is true for you and you cannot go wrong.

This is completely true! So true, in fact, that I'm trying to teach my 10 year this now. Please, please understand that it is alright to make mistakes while trying to be the best person you can be.

2. You will meet some boy someday who you think you cannot live without. But if he makes you change who you are, or makes you think less of yourself or does not live up to your high standards of what you think you deserve, he is not the one for you. Always know what you are worth.

This worked out for me, it was easy...for everyone, however it isn't so easy but always know and understand that you deserve the best.

3. Having good friends is essential – a true gift in your life. A friend always has your best interests in mind, but a friend is not always perfect. Remember that just like you, your friends are human. They will make mistakes and let you down. If they are a true friend, give them the benefit of the doubt. And remember, friendships will change. It is just part of life. Sometimes it will be time to let a friendship go, and that is okay.

4. To have a good friend, you must be a good friend. Be loyal, caring, and dependable. Listen, but don’t be afraid to lean on your friends for advice and support.

5. Even though it might sometimes seem that your friends are living a better life than you do–maybe they have more stuff, maybe they are an only child and get lots of attention, maybe they have tons of brothers and sisters and that seems fun, maybe they live in a huge house, maybe they take major vacations – whatever the case, or whatever the reason is that you think they have a life that you want – the grass is not greener. The life you have is exactly the one meant for you. The life you have can be whatever you want it to be. And, if you count your blessings and appreciate what you have, you will have the greatest life of all.

This also goes along with living in the moment. Always be living in the moment and enjoy what you do have. Don't worry about what everyone else have.

6. Love your brother. Sam might get on your nerves, but he is the only sibling you have. As you get older, he will become more and more important to you. You and Sam share a bond that you will never have with anyone else. Cherish that.

And maybe it isn't a Sam...maybe its a Tyler...either way, it is your sibling and no one with appreciate you and understand you more than them.

7. Cut your parents some slack. They are not perfect either, although they are doing the best that they can. As you get older, you will blame them for things – just remember that we always loved you and tried to do what we thought was the right thing for your growth and happiness.  8. Don’t hold grudges, life is too short.

9. Think about what you love to do and think about it a lot. Make sure you do bits of these things everyday. Always have the big picture in mind, and think forward to how you can bring the love and passion for those things into your life as you get older. This might happen in your job, by having children, in your marriage, who knows. Just never lose sight of the simple things that make you happy.

10. Be active. Not for the purpose of being thin or looking a certain way but because it makes you a better, more well-rounded person. Being active and moving your body will relieve stress, will put your life in perspective, will keep you young.

11. If you hurt someone, say you are sorry.

Its ok to say your sorry, and 99% of the time it will fix our little mistakes that we are bound to make. Once you are ok with making the mistakes you will be ok with saying 'I'm sorry.'

12. Do not worry. Worry will eat you up inside. Do your best everyday, then let the little things go. Things have a way of working themselves out. One of the best things to learn at a young age is that we cannot control things. The harder we try to make things a certain way, the more we will suffer because things NEVER hardly go as planned. Do your best to be open to the mystery of life.
 

So that is her list...and now my list...too many great lessons there that I only hope will benefit someone!

low points...getting better, hopefully!

As I was sitting in the dentist chair yesterday for the first time in probably 5 years I was busy stressing out about 32 other things I need to be doing. They took my blood pressure; "text book, perfect," they said. This is unusually high for me and do you know what message that sent to me? You let it all get to you! You allowed all of it (the negative happenings in life) finally break you down. I have always, always prided myself in letting things just be, however it was meant to be will always work itself out, there is no reason to stress about it. And here I did just that. I don't have an answer why I allowed it, and now that I have I'm struggling on how to let it all go.

After two weeks of negative after negative filtering in my life, I'm trying really really hard to learn my lesson but in the end I just end up in tears. I think I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have cried in the past year. I would rather not rehash everything because I'm trying really hard to remember only positives.

I'm going to look at the 'blood pressure, light bulb moment' to be the moment as I remember everything getting better and I'm going to list every positive thing that happened in the last two weeks... Here goes ...

-- All 4 of us had great check ups at the dentist (except for 1 minor issue that was already taken care of)

-- I was able (forced) to rest/mend my tired/achy muscles.

-- I had some extra time to play board games with my kids

-- I have had the opportunity to read a book about appreciating what I have in the present

--I have been reminded that I am surrounded by great friends and supportive family

-- I got my taxes all done and ready to mail in

I know, not a very long list but its a start. And the start is always the hardest part.

So I'm going to choose to focus on the positives for now...And try to get my life back to normal.

Training frustrations, starting early

I know you were all expecting this post, probably thought it would have been later in the week, but alas, here we are on Monday and I'm already stressed about not running. I had a very busy weekend, I can't even remember if I went to run Friday morning. I was supposed to run three miles on Saturday and I didn't do it because of the snow, but instead I tried a new workout on a FitWall. I'm still sore from that, and it was great interval training. Then this morning the alarm went off to go run another 3 miles and my body wouldn't move. I'm so tired, probably a combination of the training, the running kids everywhere and only being at my house for sleeping over the weekend. I read a blog this morning and the author wrote last week that she was frustrated with her running because she seemed so tired and runs were hard etc etc. But happy to report that this week is easier. I so hope that things align for me, sooner than later. I keep telling myself that missing a run or two is not a big deal as long as all the long runs are met. I hope I'm not fooling myself. Palisade is a great course and I just want to feel good and hopefully do better than the 2:02 from last year. Hopefully with combing my running with some other total body strengthening things will come together, like a perfect storm.

Brooke had a dance competition over the weekend. This one went much smoother than last month's and I'm happy to report that Brooke was much nicer to me this time than last. It helps that she knows what to expect now and I know what to expect, so I'm a lot better prepared. 2 of her dances scored better than last time and 1 of them made it into the top 10; I'm happy to see the improvement. Makes all those hours of driving around and waiting worth it.

Palisade update & others

Training for Palisade has officially started. I've got my long runs, I've been doing more stuff on the treadmill than ever before, I've only skipped a few of the runs during the week, mostly because of weather. However, I have yet to run a true tempo run. Really, I know I'm scared of it, but that isn't why I haven't run one yet. The first week, it was snowing so crazy that I decided it wouldn't be safe, the next week my partner that I recruited ditched me. And now, my partner has ditched me yet again, but I'm running. It might not be a true tempo run, but will be miles and hopefully that will help. Over the weekend I ended up running over 17 miles. I didn't plan it that way, it just happened. And although I was exhausted on Sunday night, my body handled the mileage pretty well. I'm sure there is a lesson here, that maybe a marathon wouldn't be totally out of the question. The first track session of the year started this week also. I felt good, but I didn't push it for best times, I was aiming for 10k pace and I was able to do that. That makes me happy and I'm at a good starting point for the year. The kind of frustrating part of this deal is that this week my mileage will be closer to 30, next week based on the schedule is about 1/2. I know I should love the recovery weeks but they scare me into thinking I'm not going to be prepared.

This was from a beautiful snowy day that we spent in Evergreen ice skating and sledding! So much fun!

 

Because I know everyone cares about other things than just my running issues...I will update...Tyler just finished up with indoor soccer. Although they didn't do great as far as winning games, they did grow as a team and really get the concept of passing and defending and holding positions. Tyler has been playing much better and I'm so happy to see the growth. Tyler has also started piano lessons. He loves the teacher and has decided that he wants to play in the recital. Which is great, except the recital is in a month and he has only been playing for a month. He will do great I know...but wow! Brooke is still dancing. Her dances have made it to nationals, so she is happy and the memories she will make and remember will be amazing. She is also playing the piano and doing very well. I'm happy to see her hold it all together.

Palisade training

Official training for me starts on Monday for the Grand Valley 1/2. I'm not sure why I feel like it is such a big deal. It isn't as if I haven't been going to the gym and running. Maybe it is because I have taken the time this year to write down some goals and in order for those goals to happen, one must train for them. I have been running long enough and had enough disappointing finishes to know that you can't just pray for a strong race, you have to train your butt off and pray for it.

Perhaps I'm also a little nervous because I have decided to try a new training plan for myself this time around. Before, I have always had someone tell me how to do things and when to do them and this time I am a little more on my own. It will be good for me, to push myself, not rely on others to keep the pace but learn to feel it all on my own. I have taken a training plan from Hal Higdon for an advanced runner (which I question if I'm even qualified for) then I tweaked it a little and then another coach/friend tweaked it again for me. This time I'm including tempo runs, which quite frankly, scare me. They sound hard and intimidating and did I say hard? On those runs I will have to run with someone as I usually don't push myself like I could/should. And instead of going by miles on my long runs I will be going by time. I tried this method once before and it didn't work out so well. However, there is this thing, called consistency and that may have been part of the problem. I'm aiming for a 1 hour 50 min 1/2 marathon time. Grand Valley is a hard course so I will need to train hills and flats alike. I'm excited, yet intimidated by the schedule. One day at a time though. Yesterday I read an article mentioning how to focus your time during marathon / 1/2 marathon training. I'm still learning. This is probably part of the reason I haven't signed up for a marathon, I can barely get my training for a 1/2 in let alone doubling the mileage.

I'm excited for this race, as it has been since last August that I have been in 'training.' My last couple of 5k's have been a little disappointing just because I hoped for more and when you aren't working on turnover and speed and hills you don't have great races. You just race. I remember trying to remind myself that it is off season, I will be fine. And you know what, from a year ago my 5K is faster...just not my fastest. I guess I do understand that there will eventually be a time when I won't be working on getting faster, instead working toward staying the same. For right now I'm going to hope I'm continuing to get faster, it is kinda motivating.

Brooke's first dance competition

Brooke had her first dance competition this last weekend. And remembering that I'm her mom so it is easy for her to let me see her true colors, she almost didn't live to make it to her first number. I did try and put myself in her position with her nerves and fear of the unknown, I did try to understand that for a 9 year old this is a lot to handle. But you can see my battle here...

Notice how cute all the girls look? All innocent and beautiful...

Now I encourage you to look at Brooke's fabulous reaction when she noticed I was taking pictures. If looks could kill, I wouldn't be here right now.

But see how beautiful she is? Who wouldn't want to take pictures of this?

 

Out of all the dances this one was Brooke's least favorite, however all the girls did amazing and ended up getting an 'intesity' award out of this. It is safe to say that Brooke has rethought her favorite dances. After dancing on Saturday we went to dinner with some of the teachers and other students and their families... Yes, this guy teaches my kid to dance. Mom of the year material right here ;). It's a good thing Brooke thinks this guy is amazing.

 

 

Finally after an early morning (leaving the house when it was still dark) a long drive, a lot of hair teasing and then some waiting, some sowing and more waiting and face painting here is Brooke for her last number...

 

 

I think she looks awesome, but she thinks she looks ridiculous.

 

Just so you know my life isn't completely about my kids. I was able to get up early on Saturday and get a run in. A beautiful run at a new trail, it was peaceful and easy to get lost in your own thoughts and spirit lifting. Funny how the universe works in mysterious ways. Had I not had the uplifted spirit, there is a good chance I would have strangled Brooke. more mom of the year material ;).

 

This week has been a little easier for me, in terms of not so many things to get done. See I think that until I remember that Valentine's Day is just a few days away and no party planning has occured, and I have a 5K to run this weekend and I'm sure I'm not in 5K shape not to mention the pain I have been having along the whole left side of my body.

 

 

Cabo Trip 2013

We got back from Cabo just in time to thoroughly enjoy the 5 degree temperature here in Denver. Sometimes I wonder why we live here.....

Maybe this is why...

Anyway, our trip to Cabo started a little rocky when the people at the hotel tried to be super pushy and get us into a sales pitch deal. I had to turn mean before I walked away. After that however, things vastly improved. I would have to say that the beach (Medano Beach to be exact) is pretty fabulous. I mean where else are you going to find a 3 mile span of perfect sand to run, build and play in along with calm water that's only fault is too much salt?

I finally got over (a little bit) my fear of swimming in the ocean. I've always been a little scared of the unknown and pure enormity of the ocean that I couldn't imagine letting my feet get off the ground. Maybe it was a combination of my want to swim and maybe a little courage from not showing my kids any fear that finally got me out there. The hotel also had set up a roped off swimming area that boats and jet ski's aren't allowed to enter. For some reason I think the fish might have missed the memo to stay out. So the first day, off I went to swim the length (just a simple out and back) and it felt like forever to get to the rope and turning around felt like I was working so hard and getting no where but then all of a sudden I was back on shore. After a slow progression I got up to swimming 4 lengths at a time. Each time I would venture out the experience was a little different, a boat would get close and make weird waves, the current was different etc etc etc. I can't say I'm totally over my fear but I'm doing better. And in the midst of it all Brooke did some swimming also, in the ocean, on her own. I'm so proud it didn't take her 32 years to figure it out. Lou and Tyler on the other hand still have their feet planted solidly on the sand.

The famous arch

We took a boat out to find some whales, see the arch (lands end) and maybe find some Sea Lions. The funny thing about Cabo is one side is the Pacific Ocean and the other side is the Sea of Cortes. The Pacific Ocean side is so chopping and rough that being in a small boat can be frightful, especially for my land loving family. It is crazy how you could almost draw a line in the ocean to see the difference. We did get to see a whale and we were reminded how giant of animals they really are. The cool part, in my opinion is that we saw a sea turtle that came to the top. He was giant and gentle and awesome. We saw the sea lions and the arch and some "Nemo and Dory" fish. In the end a fabulous adventure.

The rocks where we would watch the boats and Sea Lions

We loved playing in the sand, I actually enjoyed running in the sand this time. Lou and I went running together one morning and he totally kicked my butt which made me super sad, but then he had to walk back and I ended up waiting for him. We walked into town a couple of times and watched the boats go in and out of the marina. The kids liked to watch the sea lions and build sand castles and swim. Tyler actually made a lot of progress with his comfort in the water. I'm excited about that. They also loved "happy hour" (who doesn't right?) so they could get a virgin strawberry daiquiri, that they would never drink. In the end, just to have some time where you aren't inflicted with places to be and things to do etc etc is fabulous. To wake up when you wake up and do things whatever you want, this can be totally re-energizing.

 

The sunrise was beautiful!

 

Possibly my new favorite picture of us!