Age...things change...

"As I get older I see that running has changed for me. What used to be about burning calories is now more about burning up what is false. Lies I used to tell myself about who I was and what I could do, friendships that cannot withstand hills or miles, the approval I no longer need to seek, and solidarity that cannot bear silence. I run to burn up what I don't need and ignite what I do." -- Kristen Armstrong...

I'm going to turn this quote into something a little different...What used to be "I run because you don't see fat people running" has turned into "I run because my body craves it" and maybe part of that reason is because of the giant amount of confidence I have gained, maybe it is that I'm not seeking acceptance or approval anymore. Or maybe it is because there is a coincidence that I started running when I started to be a much more positive person. Maybe psychologically I don't want to go back being that person before I run so that is why I continue.

After watching 'runners' I have noticed that more often than not they are super nice people, always encouraging, always supportive always saying 'hi' when they pass you. After giving swimming and biking a valid try...those guys are competitive and not supportive. So I stay running because I like to surround myself with happy supportive people.

Why do you run? Has it changed since you started running?

Facing Down Fear

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." -- Dale Carnegie

Apparently the universe was looking out for me today. You see, I woke up this morning to some interesting texts...which lead me to investigate a little bit...which then lead to fear...which then had me jumping at every odd noise and by the time I got ready to put my shoes on I was scared to walk from the door to the car to go to the gym. But the bottom line is that I kept moving when I could have just as easily stayed in bed. And after the gym and as I kept moving throughout the day every minute got a little bit easier. Then eventually I  reminded myself that I can't live in fear, I can't allow some outside action be the cause of all my inaction. I'm happy that the universe knows just exactly when and where to post some encouraging words that are able to give me a whole new outlook on life. But after that morning I can see how some people let fear paralyze them; how it is easier to avoid the fear than to stare it down and get past it. I've decided that the few minutes of uncomfortable is far better than hiding out for a life time. I'm not sure if it really took me my whole life to figure this out or if I always knew.

I must mention, probably just for myself, that the events of the 'missing Jessica Ridgeway' have hit home like no other news that has recently happened. I keep asking myself and others who could do such terrible things to such a young girl. Brooke happens to be close to the age of that girl and I will be the first to tell you that they can be a pain, talk back etc etc, but no one deserves to see the fear that I can only imagine that girl had to be going through. And no mom should have to deal with that knowledge either. In light of it all, it has left me wondering if it is safe for me to continue on with life the way I always have. Is it alright for me to go on my runs alone or leave for the gym as early as I do, or be at work alone? People around me say that they wouldn't be looking for someone like me because I have the ability to fight back. And maybe it isn't just the fear for myself but my kids. I certainly won't let the kids out of my site these days, which is sad right? But, in the end they are the vulnerable ones, they are the ones that can't fight back.

I'll reside my position on the soap box now, and give it up to someone else.

Augustish updates

It is pretty much official! I suck at this blogging thing. Making time to write things down is crazy...I'm trying to find a new attitude about it. In the mean time...

The kids started school (great news for me!) and so far aside from a few bumps in the road we have done pretty well...Tyler is a little bummed because "We have to write everyday" and Brooke is having a little bit of an issue with having to push herself because her teacher's test isn't believing in her ability... These are rough issues to have... I'm sure somehow we will make it...

We have also gotten through the September birthdays...It was rough having so many back to back to back. I know Tyler was happy. However, I guess in my family if you aren't born in September you just aren't cool...And Brooke was sure to let me know. Tyler decided for his day with Grammie, they would go to Heritage Square with Papa too...Brooke sure was upset. I guess she now has more ideas for her day with Grammie.

Our weekends have been pretty much jam packed with activities, Brooke is dancing on Saturdays now until June. Tyler has started soccer. I was racing a bit in August but have since cut that back to try and make more time for the kids. Louis' stint in running has kinda declined since the Pomona Prowl. I guess when you PR with a 24.06 on your first 5K you really don't need to try so hard the next time. We will see this weekend how that works out for him. We are running the Farmers 5000 and the course in much flatter so I'm hoping to do pretty well...

Brooke danced in the Harvest festival parade last weekend. I think she did fabulous...She is too hard on herself saying she could have done better.

This is before the cool shirt change and before the butterflies started!

 

Brooke also got her first test in babysitting... with me there of course... she did fine until the drool came and she didn't know what to do... Perhaps she can start with kids just a little older...or maybe just wait until she is like 16...

 

 

As I mentioned Louis and I ran the Pomona Prowl...a local 5k race with the high school. This is a totally low key event...at the end they mention a time and then give you a post it note with what place you finished in. There was maybe 300 people in the race and Lou and I finished #47 and 48...My time (which I didn't believe until I confirmed with my watch) was a 24.02 which was a PR for me by a little over 30 seconds. Louis' first 5k race was a 24.06...Super proud of the guy, I will admit also a little jealous because I work really hard to be where I'm at...he only ran for like 2-3 months. Either way it was good!

 





Running Georgetown 2nd Edition

I ranted just last week about how I get talked into silly things like running 1/2 marathons, especially ones that I've had bad experiences with. I questioned why I subject myself and why I feel like I must test my limits.I also questioned why I was letting my head get the best of me (you shouldn't run, you have a cold, your knee could hurt etc) Although I'm still questioning all of the above, I'm still wondering why I let people talk me into things. But I'm also glad that they did.

When I ran Georgetown to Idaho Springs last year I totally bonked at about mile 6-8 and then walk / ran (more walking than running) the rest of the way. This made the course feel like it was 'forever' long. I gave much of my energy to the 'uphills' of the course and not nearly enough energy to the downhills. I didn't train well for it, letting my head get the better of me. I prayed for a miracle when I knew that you have to train for miracles. Therefor, after I committed to doing this race again I threw myself into training 100%, maybe even more. I did hill workouts and speed work and tempo runs (although they were short) all so that I wouldn't have the same experience. I remembered my gels and I stuck to my plan at the aide stations and with the pace group. The miles ticked by easily, the pace group seemed a bit slow, and the uphills didn't seem so much like uphills, more like rises in the road. The signs from the cross country team were cute and funny this time instead of annoying and dumb like I thought they were last time. They changed the finish this year which is fine but I didn't know when to speed up and 'find the next gear' so I guessed, and I will tell you that I guessed too early and sprinted longer than I thought I could, but the bottom line is that I could sprint that far and it was fine, except I couldn't breath but that is minor right? I passed a lot of people along the way. The bottom line is that my finish time is 1.55.16. That is better than I could have hoped for. I ran without a watch this time (the first time for this distance) I just ran by feel. Who knew that you could set a PR running by feel?

I told some friends that my goal for the 1/2 marathon distance is to feel strong for the entire 13 miles so when I felt good and I began to notice things like the view and such I was happy. I made that goal. The weather was also perfect, not too hot, not too cold which also made my day.

I had also mentioned to someone that if I ever got to the 1.50 1/2 marathon I might consider a full marathon. Who does stuff like that?

So just know, Georgetown and I have become friends. No longer will I tell people how terrible that race is...I will mention there are hills. It's just not right to tell people it is all downhill. But when you train for the hills and for the distance then sometimes it all just comes together, kind of like a perfect storm and when that happens then miracles can happen as well!

Running butterflies

About a month ago I was again talked into running a race that I didn't plan on. Heck, do I ever plan a race? Anyway, Georgetown to Idaho Springs, here I come again.And let me remind everyone that I didn't have that fabulous of a run the first time around. But now, as I sit here the day before the race, with a bit of a head cold and fatigue wearing on me because of this lifestyle I live, I'm wondering what the heck I was thinking? Don't get me wrong, I've trained for the race; the only run I cut short was the 14 miler...I only did 13.3 and on 800's I did make it up to 9 repeats before I started a taper. Either way, I am now letting my head get the best of me. It's gonna be hot and I don't feel that fabulous with the head cold and I'm tired. So I'm wondering why is it different? A few weeks ago when I did the 13.3 miles I had no anxiety before the run, and now since I paid an entry and will have a number and an official finish time I worry and fret like crazy? I begin to second guess myself and my hobby and everything? Is this even normal? Maybe part of it is that I have time to worry...When you don't taper you don't have worry right? There is no time when your busy concentrating on putting one step in front of the other because every muscle screams at you. Also, contributing to my worry is that Louis and the kids are coming this time. As if there aren't enough people at the end waiting anyone, the ones I care about the most will be there to either see me at my best or possibly my worst...I'll let you know!

My July update

So, for a change I have a few extra minutes in my day and I decide to look at my blog...As fabulous as the blog is, I can't believe that it has been almost a month since I've said a word on it. How am I supposed to be using this as a journal if I don't ever write stuff down? So, I guess it is very very clear that I suck at this. Or maybe I'm just leaving lots and lots of room for improvement.

Brooke ran her first 5k with me on July 4th. She hated every minute of the actual running. She was super excited before the race started. She was happy at the finish line but during the race I heard it all...we are going too fast, its hot, I'm tired, I hate this etc etc etc. I had read about other running moms having a hard time with their children running so I had thought about all types of positive things I could say to her but she wasn't having it... Mom, I'm never doing this again...My response was ok, that's fine, but lets just finish what we started...

And she did. Ever since her running at track has been so much better! I am still in shock at the improvement! Her time according to her (my running ) watch was 39.47...she wanted to be under 40. I kinda think the official times are off (especially since they say that I didn't run) that I'm ignoring them.

After the race we did the normal 4th of July routine for us which included a parade, pool party, block party...sleep

We also ventured to the Renaissance festival, much to my dismay. Amanda and Louis thought it would be fun. I think they need to re-evaluate their fun standards. Regardless, the kids liked it. They got their face painted, Brooke got her hair done and then we hit the rain. Lots and lots of rain. It is always an adventure to go to the festival and see all the crazy people dressing up, talking differently etc. I'm just not sold on the every year routine.

I have also been talked into trying my luck at the Georgetown to Idaho Springs 1/2 marathon. I'm not sure how I get into these things, but I'm training smarter for this race this time so I'm hoping that things go better. Much much better.





June Updates

As I sometimes read back into some of the posts I have done I realize how much I forget...I kinda miss my busy weekends...even though I'm really good at complaining about them...I was intoduced into my busy weekends again recently. Brooke had a dance recital and I was racing again and Father's day.

Brooke's dance recital...I just love watching her dance because she has learned so much and gained so much confidence...I'll be honest, the company needs a little help as far as the recital organization goes, and in my future I see helping to fix that but all in all it was fun. And the end goal is to teach the kids how to dance, to give them confidence and provide it in a fun environment. The company has been very successfull in that aspect, so I'm happy.

I raced the father's day 5K again this year at APEX. Last year, if you recall I was afraid to run the 5K distance, for fear of the unknown. Also if you recall I ran a 26.50 finishing 8th in my division. I remember being excited to actually be in the top 10 and happy with the time. So this year, it would be safe to say that I had some preatty high expectations as I had been training hard. I guess I didn't really go into the race with a taper (who tapers for a 5K was my thinking) and I also had 8 miles scheduled for this weekend for other training. So I got up early on Saturday to get the 8 miles in (at Lookout Mountain) and then ran the race Sunday...I know, the suspense is killing you...Official finishing time 24.59, 2nd place in my division. I'm happy overall, kinda, I guess. The 2nd place made me happy, as this was a true 2nd place. Not one of those that they take the first 2 out of my division because they won overall, but true 2nd. The time, however, I've run better, maybe just 30 seconds better, but 30 seconds is 30 seconds and that is what I lost by...I guess I'll be back again next year. And good for you guys that I don't take pictures of me racing. Louis and kids tried to take a picture of me and ended up getting the guy behind me. I'm not that sad that they missed me.

Father's day...we went to Sloan's for brunch in Edgewater. Louis loves that place and my parents joined us, which was great. We then headed to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.  

Since that weekend, I also ran the Slacker  1/2 marathon relay. I only signed up for the relay because I was worried that this supposed downhill race would turn into another Georgetown / Idaho Springs lie. However, this is was no lie...It really was downhill, it really was a fast course. Since I'm the competitive type (although I try not to be) I was busy trying to make up time the whole way. I ended up running the 2nd leg and then ran the rest of the race when I met up with our 3rd leg. We ran a little over 7 miles in 1 hr 2 min. It was a fabulous run for me, however that downhill really did tear my legs up. I think they were sore for the better part of 3 days. And I think if Cindy and I would have ran 7 min miles we still would not have been able to make up enough time to even be in the top 3 but that is ok. Running is largely an individual sport and I have to be happy with what everyone did.

Louis and Brooke have started running a little as well. Lets just mention that my runs have become much more frequent, but shorter distances. It is kinda killing me as now I'm almost craving a solitary run, alone to go as far, as fast as I want. Soon enough...I know.

Besides our above activites of keeping us busy, the kids have been in track 3 nights a week and a few day camps here and there. We have been going to the pool often trying to get Louis and the kids more comfortable in the water. So far that strategy is working.