Reflections ...

As the craziness of life threatens to over take a person, I tend to revert back to things that always helped in the past. Things that could make sense of the struggles or things that could bring clarity and perspective. I guess I've always known that writing can bring that clarity or therapy or perspective and all too often I ignore it. So here I am ... not sure what to write about. I could put down on paper all the chaos and unstable feelings I have but that isn't the point, right? In days and months from now when I come back to read this do I want to know what the struggle was, or do I want to remember that yes, I struggled... but then I learned, grew and became a better person? And at the end of it all, it doesn't matter how I got here, only that I'm here making positive impacts on this world.

All too often when I sit down to write the first things that come to mind are the kids accomplishments. Why is it, that it is so much easier to write about literally everyone else's successes? Is it because we feel like we are bragging, or ungrateful or self centered if we write about ourselves? I suppose it is easier to write about others also because they won't take the time to write about themselves.

Following tradition, I'm going to write about my kids... right now they seem to pre-occupy much of my world. They are good at reminding me of the good things that are happening and they also are good at reminding me at what I'm forgetting or how I'm not holding it together. I guess I was probably the same way, and my parents would probably argue that I still am...

Tyler has some big things happening at school... they are going to Ameritowne next week (a field trip where the kids 'run' the town for the day). They have a job they have to interview for, they have a bank account and bills. For the day they have to be responsible. Tyler has run for Mayor of the town and has made it down to the final 4. He is so happy. Here I took him for the local accountant, or Bank President, but he had to go show me up... It is good to see him happy and successful among his peers. There have been many days when Tyler wondered if he fit in, because the other kids were messing around when they shouldn't or struggling with a concept when he understood right away. There are days that he hated to go to school because he couldn't handle the kid sitting across from him or he was tired for the teacher.

And in other 'Tyler' news, his soccer team won the last tournament...

Over the weekend Brooke tried out for the Poms team for Pomona... Many people would say that Brooke is a 'shoe-in' because she has danced for so long. What most people don't understand is that Brooke is a ballet/lyrical/contemporary dancer, Poms is a hip-hop/glorified jazz type dance team. Brooke has never even had a hip-hop class that she finished, so her nerves were through the roof. In fact Brooke said after the first day of try outs "This is fun and all mom but not better than Cindy's ballet and Abby's Jazz on Tuesday's ... I won't give those up."  Luckily for her, she won't have to. Brooke made the Poms team, and you know the best part of it? It isn't that she made the team, it isn't that she was validated of being a talented dancer. It was the reaction of the other girls that were there checking the sheet when she was. They were older girls, obviously been through the process before and they congratulated her, talked to her, and welcomed her with such an accepting attitude that it showed me hope in this world. For too long girls have been cruel and mean and jealous and too busy breaking each other down instead of building each other up. I can't express how happy I am to see the positive energy.

I also love to see that somewhere under the dresses and growing up, she still has a little bit of kid in there...

For the positive side of my break down this morning. Keep in mind that I'm usually a level headed, and nice and optimistic kind of girl. I say 'good morning' and 'how are things' and try to do the simple things in life. This morning I did not ... I walked straight to my office and sat down and tried to concentrate on my day. It didn't work... my plan of diving into my work. But what did happen, when I cried ... 2 people completely stepped out of their comfort zone and they tried to help me, tried to put things into perspective and showed me that at the end of the day they care. It isn't the normal 2 people that are always the ones helping me, or shedding light for me or trying to be my savior ... So for that I am forever grateful. Of course, neither one of them will speak of this morning or my break down either, so I'm pretty grateful for that also.

I usually turn to running, at times like this when I feel like I'm loosing it all, when I can't figure things out. And running usually helps, with the steps seeming to help wipe it all away. But running doesn't work when I'm supposed to be working, or just finished a workout or whatever ... So I'm grateful that I remembered, just a few reflections or sentences to help the day feel just a bit better. I once heard a quote the went something like "...we as writers put pen to paper to try and make sense of it all ... " I'm not trying to make sense of it all, just make it through another day and hope for more positive things tomorrow.

 

14 Things ...

So I guess I've always known this day would come ... I guess I just didn't want to think about it... Tomorrow Brooke turns in her registration for high school. Maybe parents just feel overwhelmed when their oldest starts new adventures, maybe I'm just overwhelmed by everything? Either way, during the course of her picking classes there was talk of college and what classes would be best to get into college for this major or that major... And then it all hit me like a ton of bricks... In 4 short years or less Brooke will be deciding what or where she is going to do for her higher education. I'll tell you, when you are having sleepless nights rocking a baby or teaching kids to walk and talk you never think this day will come. Then all of a sudden it is here ...

So in combination with me feeling like I'm loosing my baby and maybe being a bit nostalgic because she turns 14 in a few weeks I've decided to post 14 things Brooke has taught me and 14 pictures she will probably kill me when she sees them on the internet ... After the fact ... the hardest part of this exercise was picking out only 14 pictures ...

1) Its ok to be little ...

2) When you have incredible work ethic, amazing things can be accomplished.

This is Brooke after a Ballet Intensive  with one of the amazing teachers.

3) Vacations and vacation planning is tons easier when you don't have to include strollers and bottles and baby food.

Imagine all the extra bags I needed just to bring along this cute little thing.

4) There is nothing that can compare to the feeling of becoming a mom

This was a mom 'win' moment

 

 

5) Every girl ever has a little Diva in there somewhere ... some just hide it better than others

 

Ok ... maybe Brooke has a lot of Diva moments

 

 

6) Working with schools and teachers is different for every kid ... but attitude is absolutely everything.

 

 

 

7) There is no better guardian than a pet ... Good thing Brooke can borrow some from others ;)

 

 

 

8) Beach therapy is good for all of us.

 

 

 

9) When they have a passion ... a parent can only facilitate ... Let them run after the passion and be only a support.

 

I'm just happy that with dance she has made all of her own decisions and when she is upset she can run to me knowing that I won't be her biggest critic...

 

 

10) You won't always agree with their choices, but you must let them learn. Sometimes trying and failing is the best teacher.

 

Like with the hair feathers ... Like most fashion blunders ... some people have to try it themselves...

 

11) Some of the books kids are required to read these days are some of the best, most addictive books I've read since I was in school.

 

 

 

12) Friends are a huge bonus. Sometimes they are supportive, sometimes they push you to be a better person, sometimes they show you the kind of person you don't want to be, sometimes you argue like siblings and most times they are the ones that make you laugh the most!

 

 

 

13) The teenage years are really really really hard when you have a kid that doesn't want to grow up.

 

 

14) There is nothing on this planet the you could give me to change this journey...

 

 

 





















Christmas Letter 2016

So ... it is December ... I'm not ready for Christmas, I'm not emotionally or physically able to even think about Christmas, and I don't have a good reason why. I barley have Christmas Cards ordered and I think I have purchased about 4 gifts ... Hopefully my kids can really slow time for me and everything will come together ...


2016 has been good in the Krapes House ... As every house, I'm sure, we have had some ups and downs ... but mostly things have been positive and as a family we are trying to make the best of every situation. In 2016 we traveled a little, we danced, played baseball and soccer, we worked and made changes when necessary. We are fortunate to be close to family so that my kids know their cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles and so they can help us out when needed ;).

We traveled to Loreto Mexico in January with my parents. It was a fantastic trip to a tiny fisherman town in the Baja Peninsula, the resort was great, the town locals were fun, the people we met on the resort were so nice. There was beaches and hiking and beach volleyball and sandcastle making and stand up paddle boarding. The people that worked on the resort would play with the kids and teach them local traditions and survival skills, they would help Lou out when would manage to 'loose his shoes.' They serenaded my birthday. It couldn't have been better timing to get out of the cold and to relax after a busy Christmas season. We also had a few trips more local ... we went to Beaver Creek for a few weekends, and Steamboat and Snowmass (in the same weekend, thank you soccer). The mountain trips were all great and also well needed relaxation points.

Tyler turned 10 this year ... he is in 5th grade and has a fantastic teacher (Ms Jones). We couldn't be happier on that front. Tyler is also enrolled in an online math class that focuses on 6th / 7th grade curriculum. Tyler is being challenged a bit, but is growing ever frustrated with the routine of the same thing every day. I guess I don't know what I will do one day when I don't have to worry about Tyler and school. Hopefully the district is able to make some changes for next year to help us out a little bit. (Because you know, it is all about us and what is best for Tyler ;)). Tyler also has decided to give up baseball to play soccer competitively. This has been a fun adventure with practice 4 times a week some weeks plus a game or two on the weekend. I do have to say that Tyler has been happy with his choice. He is on a great team with a great coach. We are hoping the spring session goes just as smoothly. Since winter is upon us here in Denver, they have gone to playing indoor soccer, which has been a huge learning curve for these boys, but still fantastic. Tyler is still playing the piano. He always loves to learn new things, but he once he figures out fun songs, he will just play them over and over and over. As a mom I wish he would practice more, as a kid who grew up playing the piano I understand that practicing isn't that fun. And probably moving at your own speed is the best pace.

On a boat ride in Mexico, Tyler was leading the way

And This shows how tall Tyler is getting... Not really my 'little guy' anymore

Tyler's new coach



Brooke is 13, she is finishing up her middle school years and heading off to high school next year. I'm not sure how that happened and believe me when I say, I'm so not ready for this roller coaster. She has succeeded again this year to be every teachers favorite and has exceptional grades. Brooke auditioned for (and made) the Joffrey Ballet Summer Intensive classes in New York and Denver over last summer. Sadly for Brooke I didn't have an extra $10,000 hanging out and there was no way I was letting my 13 year old alone on the streets of New York for 7 weeks. (I know, meanest mom ever!) She settled for the Denver Intensive which turned out to be 80 hours of ballet over 2 weeks. However, in those two weeks she had some incredible training from teachers all over the world. She was offered a position on a pre-professional company but turned that down. She still made the incredibly hard decision to move studios. The new studio offers her 5 different teachers that push her all differently and are helping her to focus on technique and strength. And it is only 45 minutes away from home. Brooke has decided that competing should take a backseat until she gets where she wants to go in other areas of dance. She loves dance again and is excited to be there, instead of all the other drama she was dealing with. Brooke is also still playing the piano. I try to remind her that if she would practice the piano as much as she dances then she would be amazing. She hasn't quite figured that out yet. Lucky for us she has a piano teacher that is extremely patient and moves at Brooke's pace.    

This is how dancers help each other with their make up

Some of Brooke's favorite people to dance with

Brooke and her friend Jasmine at the school Award Ceremony

More dance shenanigans



Our beachside view in Loreto

 

As for Lou he had to give up coaching soccer when Tyler decided competitive was the way to go... So I would love to say he has more time on his hands, but I would be lying. We managed to fill that up by driving Brooke 45 minutes away to dance and Tyler's 4 nights a week at soccer, oh and then homework and piano. He is still working with his family and there have been great business improvements there. It is no secret that there is room for improvement in the employee relations department. It all is a process and hopefully things will get straightened out sooner than later. This fall Lou did take up 'training' with me to run the Tough Mudder and the Hot Chocolate Race. He is still the overly supportive, genuinely concerned guy he has always been. I'm forever grateful that he came into my life all those years ago...

Lou and I before the Hot Chocolate Race.

 

Finally, I'm still working, coordinating a running club for both the elementary school and for my friends that continually support me, and fundraising for the kids activities. My running has taken a backseat this year because I've been dealing with planter fascia issues that turned into other issues. Never again will I tease someone for complaining about their foot hurting. When I finally was able to start running again I then realized what terrible shape I'm in and this process of coming back sucks a whole lot. But, lesson learned... when you have something hurting, don't run on it for another 4 months before deciding to take some time off... perhaps the recovery time will be a lot shorter. Running aside, things are good in my world. I love the challenges that are presented to me daily, I love how I'm learning and growing still, after all these years! I love that I have great groups of friends that push me to exercise on days when sleeping would be so much better. I love that I have people to remind me daily to live in the 'here and now.'

 

After we finished the Tough Mudder with our friends ... Always a great time!

 

One of the colder Bronco Games we got to go to

 

 

That is really all I have for updates from the Krapes family... we would like to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and sending out the best for a great New Year! 

Our Ice Skating Adventure in Beaver Creek ... they forced us to take a break so they could 'Zamboni' the ice ... Only Tyler was excited to watch that.



Election week in America

I recently read a blog post entitled 'I voted, but I didn't like it.." and at the time I thought, I feel the same way, as an American I was to take my right to vote and vote, but I don't like it. I don't like my choices, I don't like what cities and counties are asking for. I don't like any of it. But, I'm going to set a good example for my kids and I'm going to vote. I asked them questions while I was voting, they helped me research and I'll admit they did a fantastic job of finding only facts instead of propaganda and they asked solid questions that could not be answered. When the results came in it seemed as if much of what I voted for was opposite of the majority outcome, so the kids were disappointed but we go with majority rules. That's how America works.

Then, this week happened...

This week in the Great United States we voted, because that is the American thing to do ... we voted for a new president, we voted for senators and other members of Congress, we voted for ballet proposals, tax increases, judges and policies among other things. And now, America, I'm sad ... I'm not sad because of the outcome of all the these things (because as an American I know that my way is not the only way), I'm sad because of how America has handled itself when they 'didn't get their way.' I'm sad for my kids, because they are only learning about the election system and process and America is too busy throwing a giant temper tantrum that it is getting in the way of their learning. Just like in soccer, isn't it our job, America, to roll with the punches and figure out how to rise up? Isn't it our job to take each thing that happens and learn from it?

Instead, this is what is happening ...

1) Schools, in classes all around the country (at least the 2 my kids attend for sure) they aren't allowed to talk politics... What? Are we teaching the kids that we can only talk politics when we all agree? How is that American? I thought America was about embracing other peoples differences, encouraging meaningful conversations and respecting other opinions. Yesterday that is not what happened at all. My son was told that him and his friends could not talk about the election when they were outside 'running the hill,' and a social studies teacher at Brooke's school wrote on the board that there will be no talk about politics today. How is that encouraging meaningful conversations or embracing other opinions? Guess what? Brooke is in 8th grade which focuses on American History. History just happened and they can't talk politics (luckily the social studies teacher that Brooke has did allow conversation and discussion and on the walk home Brooke was able to have a fact filled conversation with her friend of different views and guess what? They are still friends today). And Tyler, in 5th Grade is also learning about the electoral system and their conversation is squashed when they are outside? Congratulations America! You just tried to teach my kids that everything is fine as long as they agree with you. Which also says, don't think for yourself, don't come to the table with your own ideas. Just go with us, we know best.

2) People are rioting ... Seriously?!? You don't get your way and so you protest and riot? You haven't even given anyone a chance to prove themselves. Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama said that you should embrace the new president with and Open Mind. And all the crazy ideas I'm seeing and hearing from people. Just like I tell my kids, you don't know how things are going to be until you give it a chance. Let me tell you, I'm willing to try. I'm willing to see if there is are better Health Care options out there, because my options right now are terrible. (Did you know, in Colorado there are only 3 companies that are offering individual health care plans?) I'm willing to see if there is a better way to keep manufacturing jobs here in the states because that is how the infrastructure in the United States keeps moving forward (Hello Detroit?) I'm willing to have immigrants here as long as they are here legally paying the same taxes that I'm paying and living by the same rules. I'm willing to work with a congressman that I did not vote for, who has been a lifetime guy and does not agree with the same things I agree with ... because that is who the people voted for. In America we have told our kids for as long as time that there are people in this world you have to learn to work with, you don't have to be best friends, you don't even have to like them, but you have to work them. If America is going to unite and move forward we are going to have to learn to work together.

3) 2 presidential candidates spent the better part of 18 months telling America what a monster the other one is. Instead of talking policies and plans and ways to improve America they talked about how terrible the other is. What the bottom line is, they used to be friends. Guess what? Neither one of them is a monster. They both want what will help America and American people, they have different ideas on how to get there. Don't we all?

4) On Monday there was post after picture after post ... Don't Gloat, we still have to work together tomorrow ... or something to that effect. Do you know what I saw instead? I saw personal attacks on people. Post after post after post was another personal attack on someone who thought differently than you? Or delete me as a friend if you voted for "insert name here." Again, Congratulations America! You just proved that you, in fact can't, or won't accept anything except what you believe. In fact, you won't even listen with an open mind. Because what you believe must be the only way. 

5) NPR had a great article Thursday Morning stating that if you look at the history of American presidents and elections that American's are always ready for change and basically the pendulum effect swinging back and forth. And this is very common going all the way back to the 1920's. Funny, though I don't remember the republicans rioting in 2008 with Obama was voted in, or the democrats before that when Bush was voted in. If we take anything away from history class, it should have been "HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF!"

6) On some of the local levels ... We are passing taxes (2 cents per ounce) when people buy a soda? Really? At the end of the day, isn't the person's choice if they want to drink soda, or milk or tea? We have become such a nation that we are going to try control what people do to their own bodies? And the quote that got to me "...soda companies have lined their pockets for years on people buying these terrible things for their body..." Now I question ... who is lining their pockets with the tax they are implementing on these drinks? And tell me, is that money going to educate people about the effects of soda on their body? Because that worked so well for the tobacco companies, or that marijuana tax that was supposed to go to building schools. I would like to see the spreadsheet on how many school districts actually saw that money.

At the end of the day America the little kids are watching you, they are watching you throw a temper tantrum like a 5 year and they are thinking "it is ok to do that." You have the power right now to change your reaction, you have the choice to listen to the kids conversations before squashing them, you have the power to rise up and continue to move forward in a positive fashion. But you have to make that choice and I promise you... what I saw yesterday is not a positive fashion. And I hope for my kids and their friends sake that you take the power and change your reaction. Because the problem with America right now is not what the election results are as much as how the American people react to those results.         

What I did this weekend ...

So, this past weekend Tyler played in a soccer tournament ... It was not his first tournament and it certainly won't be his last tournament. And at the end of the day it is just a 10 year old soccer game. However, in one 60 min game, there were so many life lessons taught that I had to finally reflect back on it.

Let me first set the stage. Tyler's team played Friday night, they won... they played two games on Saturday and they also won both of those. In the span of those 3 games there was some questionable calls made by the referee's but not enough to cause concern. In those 3 games Tyler's team allowed a total of 3 goals while scoring 8. They were playing well and getting along, the coach corrected them when need be and let them play when they were doing fine.

Sunday comes and Tyler is beyond excited, he gets to play goal keeper for 1/2 and just for the chance for 1st place he couldn't be happier. The game starts out with a very clear hand ball on the other team and the ref says to plan on ... after a very tense 1st half the game is tied. Many questionable non calls and missed calls, where the side judge would hold up her flag and signal for either a kick or throw in and the center ref would miss it. The second 1/2 comes around and the ball very clearly goes out of bounds on the coaches side, both coaches saw it, the side ref called it and many of the players stopped playing because of it. However, the ball came back into play on its own the other team continued play and scored a goal. Tyler's coach was very adamant that the goal shouldn't count and side ref agreed, however, the center ref said that he didn't see it, so the goal counts. Tyler's team played very well, poured on the pressure, just the ball didn't bounce for them. So the end of the game came and the boys lost 0-1. After many tears, the sideline judge apologizing to the parents and an upset coach I decided to use this as a learning experience. Some of the kids cried together and further bonded, many of them told each other 'good game' and then there was that one kid (ok 2) ... The lessons I chose to teach Tyler out of this whole deal ...

1 -- A ref can not win or loose a game for you ... you have to roll with the punches and rise up no matter what the ref does. There will always be questionable ref's in every sport at every level.
2 -- Tyler, being one of the kids that slowed down during the 1 play, I told him to always play the whistle. I don't care if the ball is out of bounds or not, you play until the ref blows the whistle..
3 -- Your coach arguing with the ref was a sheer display of passion for the game and someone fighting for you ... It always feels good when some defends your actions and it is even better when you have a coach that believes in you.
4 -- Always, always, always support your team mates. There will always be a play in the game when every single kid makes a mistake. You fight to make up that mistake and then you encourage for next time. Never ever ever call out their mistakes. You let the coach do that.

Before the game ... The teams... It was like Christmas on the field.

 

In other news ... Lou, Brooke and I, along with some friends, ran the Hot Chocolate Race this weekend. It was quite fun actually ... here are some pictures.

Before the race! Yes, Lou was up before sunrise.

Brooke and Ciara ... still trying to warm up.

Nancy, Caryn and I before the race with the big Marshmallow man!

After our jackets came off ... only slightly frozen ;)

Afterwards, enjoying the after race chocolate.



Summer is officially over ... First day of school pictures

So, for most of my life the day school starts in August basically means that summer is officially over ... I hate it! But love it! I hate the nice summer days leaving and the long days getting shorter, but I love the cooler evenings and promise that a new school year brings. I love the force of a strict schedule and the kids having to be accountable! I also don't love the strict schedule. Sometimes it is nice to just be free...

So I have an 8th grader, she is beautiful and fun and happy and incredibly intelligent. She is a leader, although she doesn't like that, she is a perfect 'suck-up' which the teachers love! She is also a worry wort, an over analyzer and overly cautious, and too many times a perfectionist. I'm not really sure those are all positive attributes.

I told her that this could be her 'official' first day of school picture because the school had her wear a different outfit on the real first day of school.

And I also have a 5th grader... This guy doesn't care too much about what he wears, as long as it is comfortable and not too warm. He is very thoughtful, always helpful, also incredibly smart as well as a quick learner. He doesn't have 'time to learn things two or three times, just tell me once.' This doesn't work too well for the not so fast learners in the class. If you asked Tyler he would rather not be in school, he can find many other things to do...

This is the second outfit of the day, that kinda matched.

 

Maybe my new favorite picture of the kids.

 

Supposed to be summer updates ... in the middle of summer ... oops!

So ... as I logged in this morning to post about the first day of school ... I realized I never posted this... I'll leave it just like it was ...

 

So here are some summer updates ... So far, life has been crazy! Tyler did a fantastic soccer camp, Brooke attended the Joffrey Ballet Intensive for 2 weeks and attended a Master Class from the American Ballet Theater. We finally have 2 weeks off before things start up again ...

 

Tyler, tried out for and made a competitive soccer team, he is excited to start and is trying to stay in running shape so he doesn't 'die' when practice starts up. He has decided that baseball was fun, but he is going to focus on soccer for the fall and then do both sports in the spring... Not really sure how I get myself into these situations, but the kids are only young once right?

 

Tyler's new soccer team ... I don't think he misses his old coaches at all!

 

 

Brooke has danced most of June away and is now enjoying a break. Below you will find one of her solo dances from last year ... It is a Bollywood style dance, which is a form of dance from India, she completely stepped outside of her comfort zone and had so much fun learning, practicing and laughing with the teacher and the song and everything. Brooke has been offered a position on a pre-professional ballet track without an audition, she has decided she will probably turn down the offer as she thinks a little jazz or hip hop every now and again would be nice. So the steps so far for next season are very up in the air!

    

This is Brooke's Bollywood solo at the last competition of the season...

 

One of Brooke's teachers from the Joffrey intensive ... I haven't seen her this happy in a long time

 

Also, in June the kids did the Tough as Nails Run, with some friends ... I'm super jealous as I wasn't able to run it because of some injuries I've been dealing with.

 

All clean before the race

 

Kinda dirty afterwards, but we are 'tough as nails'

 

The creek crossing... Probably their most unfavorite ... but talked about the most..