Can I loose my 'mom' card?

You know, on the radio you hear people talk about loosing their 'man' card because of something they did or said or believe. My question, can you loose your 'mom' card and if so would someone please take mine?

I realized this morning that I totally forgot I was supposed to volunteer in Brooke's class this morning. In fact when I realized it is when I would have been getting done. How bad of a mom am I? Aren't I the one that is supposed to keep all of that straight? All the scheduling and activities and meetings and this and that? And today I totally failed that situation so at this point I just beg you to take away the 'mom' card, that way I won't feel so guilty and I won't have to deal with all the scheduling anymore!

Recent Happenings...

So, I haven't been blogging...Haven't felt the need I suppose! However, I do have to say I'm in a happy place. As of recently I have had some accomplishments. First and most exciting, we got a schedule down for our weeks. Although, hectic we are fitting everyone and everything in finally. Brooke's homework is getting done. We aren't feeling crazy amounts of pressure anymore. We are making it to all the activities on time. This is somewhat of an amazing feat. And the kids are progressing amazingly in their activities. Tyler has gone from running away from the ball to scoring goals and loving soccer. Brooke has started out being afraid of the ball and now is a great goalie. We are still working on the offensive side of the ball! Another accomplishment, I've been running with a running club, which I love...I ran my first race since the whole foot debacle a year ago and I ran better than ever. I finished my 7.9 miles in 1 hour 18 min. That is 9:52 per mile which is huge for me. So I have to thank the running club...Lori and the rest...along with my friends Kristine and Mo for making me be accountable in my running. I love that I have a little community that cares about my running and my accomplishments. My last accomplishment! My husband, who I've been with for 16 years, bought me flowers for the first time ever! I think this made my day even more than all the running greatness and such! He had a card and the whole bit to go with it! I loved it...Love the attention and that he actually cares about little things like running 8 miles. I think I'll treasure this picture my whole life!

Overbooked?

While running with a friend this weekend (Thanks Kristine for joining me!) I learned something about myself...actually probably more than one thing...but I admit...I can't say no...Someone says 'can you...' and I say 'yeah no problem' before I even hear the whole question. There are many many times that my saying yes gets me overloaded. You would think after all this time that I would learn right?

Well today my horoscope that is emailed to me says...."You could be working hard to keep up with a full schedule which may make things seem quite hectic today." Really...it is like it read my mind. "Being overloaded might be the result of your feeling that you have to do everything perfectly in order to please other people. Perhaps this would be a good time for you to learn to say 'no' to others and put your own needs first." Wow, you mean that is ok? To put my needs first? "By doing so you might realize that it is not only much more important to take care of yourself first, but that you will be much more effective when you have less on your plate." Wow...I guess I never thought about that from the other perspective. Maybe I don't need to be such an over achiever!

So after two days and the same revelation I just want everyone to know I'm putting my own needs first. No more soccer games, no more dance recitals, no more room mom parties etc etc etc. I'll start coming to work when it fits into what I need to do, I'll answer the phone when I feel it must be necessary, talk to my husband when I want to instead of all the time and I'll take care of the kids when I miss them. I'll only see my friends when I want to and suggest it. Because as a person I really don't 'need' any of those things.

I'm kidding... Maybe I'm being a little dramatic here!

Isn't this what makes me happy? Aren't all of these things...the soccer games, dance recitals, seeing my kids and husband and watching them just 'being' happy...going to work and feeling like I accomplished something...having and seeing friends...Aren't all these things that keeps my life hectic all things that make me happy? I mean as a person I'm happy...I'm scheduled and overworked and booked solid but I'm happy! Obviously I love being busy and moving all the time and always having something to do. And yes, there are times when I do some things that aren't my favorite, but in the end I usually have a smile from someone.

Just yesterday I ran 10 miles...did some cleaning around the house and then went on a family bike ride...And I'm thinking...should I really go on this bike ride or just stay home and relax? But I went...I watched my husband play with the kids, make them laugh, watched the kids make themselves laugh. I was in such a happy place! That 'extra' bike ride absolutely made my day!

So, give me my hectic, fast paced overbooked life any day...If that means that I get to watch my kids just 'be happy' I will continue to 'be happy'...

All about nothing! I think!

You know, this blogging thing...was a fabulous idea! Who cares if no one reads what is posted, but in the end it makes me feel so much better! I called my fabulous husband this morning and instead of him just listening he had to add to my irritation! Not that he planned it that way. And not that I should be irritated at all by what he said...

It is just so darned frustrating when you have your day planned (and in my case that usually means that it is down to the min) and then out of no where, and no ones fault it all starts to fall apart! Yep that is my day today. And I'm gonna say that it is my fault. I had this false thinking that since I didn't have to be anywhere until 1/2 hour later than usual I could actually sleep a little longer (that extra 15 min was great by the way). However, I have now been scrambling all day...I thought I would be done at my first stop 40 mins sooner than I actually was so now all the errands that I was planning to do then are pushed back to after work. So I guess that means that I'll missing soccer practice tonight and maybe missing a workout...That, probably won't be helping my day at all.

For those of us that actually use a workout for mind clearing, re energizing "me" time, you will all understand what I mean and how sad I would be if that actually turns out to be reality. Just the other day, my chiropractor told me that I need to start biking or swimming and slow down on the running. He doesn't understand that the running is what keeps me normal. Biking...you have to think far too much...is that car going to get me, is there gravel if I go that route...How big is that hill etc...And swimming there is that whole breathing issue and the fact that sometimes that requires traveling distances to be able to swim.

Now that I have vented some of my irritations for the day I wonder why I wrote this at all...Why I spent the time to actually complain about something so silly! And then to jump from on silly thing to another actually thinking at the time that something of so little consequense irritated me so much at one time! But you know what? I feel so much better! I can now go along with my day and handle all the imperfections the way I'm supposed to...with a clam collected mom head!

Am I rude?

I was told today that I am rude. At first I wanted to cry, as I pride myself in trying to keep everyone happy, sometimes to a fault. But then, instead of crying I decided to maybe internalize the information and move forward. I mean this is how we grow right? We learn from our mistakes, find out our short comings and then try and fix those and move forward. At least that is what I try to do. But I also tried to think of instances in which I was supposedly rude. Still, I haven't found those instances but had a revelation...Are we considered rude when we don't have the reaction that others are expecting from us. Maybe our answers aren't the answers that they wanted and now they must change a course of action. Or maybe others are a bit jealous that you aren't afraid to speak your likes and dislikes. I guess my point here is that when other people tell you something maybe it isn't you at all, maybe it is an internal reflection on their part. So if this is the case why is it that a few single words can bother me to such a point that I'm blogging about it? Maybe it is me...I'm rude. I call it like I see it. Maybe I should work on that and start sugar coating everything for everyone.

Or maybe I think too much and should go have a good cry and move on...

Day to Day learning

So today I've been reading...a lot more than usual...Only to discover I'm not alone! Right? It has taken me 30 years and 7 months to figure that out...I know, I'm a slow learner. Don't judge...so are many others.

What I've learned I'm not alone on, you ask? Well for starters goofy things, like when you go for a run and your toe hurts at the end? No, not the big toe. The middle one. Since this is something so silly I don't complain about it, I just go along with a sore toe. My nail turns colors, gets all weird looking but I still go on. However, I found out that other 'runners' have far worse 'toe issues' where the whole nail falls off, but new ones grow...some toes turn colors, some feel bruised etc...so my toe issue is still just a silly toe issue.

What else I've learned. Kids, no matter how well behaved they seem, all have issues with their parents. It isn't just me or my kids. Everyone has a child that acts out no matter how great of a parent you try to be. AND not only does every child act out, but every parent has a breaking point where they really wouldn't mind giving their child to the next person who passes by.

So I'm glad to say that we are all in the same boat, whether it is a life boat and we are all struggling or a cruise ship and it is paradise!

Another day, another dilemma!

I guess the only way you learn new things is try accomplishing new things. Sadly I've discovered this both at work and at home lately. How sad that there are things at work that I'm not sure how to accomplish but must figure it out. But then at the end I'm not all that positive I want to try that endeavour again.

For instance, I was informed at work that the only way we could be a preferred dealer for this manufacturer at work is to have an e-commerce website. Although I'm not entirely opposed to this situation I only know enough about computers and building websites to be completely dangerous. I had a client offer to make the website for me FREE I just have to keep it updated and handle everything afterwards...Hold on! Is there training to go along with this? And how come I'm the only one that gets to figure this out?

At home, I guess my only 'new' experience is to learn how to deal with the attitude of a 7 year old. And how is one supposed to appropriately respond to 'Mom I hate school and I'm not going back!' When I figure that out I'll let you know because as of right now I haven't passed. As if our mornings weren't chaotic enough already!