Am I rude?

I was told today that I am rude. At first I wanted to cry, as I pride myself in trying to keep everyone happy, sometimes to a fault. But then, instead of crying I decided to maybe internalize the information and move forward. I mean this is how we grow right? We learn from our mistakes, find out our short comings and then try and fix those and move forward. At least that is what I try to do. But I also tried to think of instances in which I was supposedly rude. Still, I haven't found those instances but had a revelation...Are we considered rude when we don't have the reaction that others are expecting from us. Maybe our answers aren't the answers that they wanted and now they must change a course of action. Or maybe others are a bit jealous that you aren't afraid to speak your likes and dislikes. I guess my point here is that when other people tell you something maybe it isn't you at all, maybe it is an internal reflection on their part. So if this is the case why is it that a few single words can bother me to such a point that I'm blogging about it? Maybe it is me...I'm rude. I call it like I see it. Maybe I should work on that and start sugar coating everything for everyone.

Or maybe I think too much and should go have a good cry and move on...

Day to Day learning

So today I've been reading...a lot more than usual...Only to discover I'm not alone! Right? It has taken me 30 years and 7 months to figure that out...I know, I'm a slow learner. Don't judge...so are many others.

What I've learned I'm not alone on, you ask? Well for starters goofy things, like when you go for a run and your toe hurts at the end? No, not the big toe. The middle one. Since this is something so silly I don't complain about it, I just go along with a sore toe. My nail turns colors, gets all weird looking but I still go on. However, I found out that other 'runners' have far worse 'toe issues' where the whole nail falls off, but new ones grow...some toes turn colors, some feel bruised etc...so my toe issue is still just a silly toe issue.

What else I've learned. Kids, no matter how well behaved they seem, all have issues with their parents. It isn't just me or my kids. Everyone has a child that acts out no matter how great of a parent you try to be. AND not only does every child act out, but every parent has a breaking point where they really wouldn't mind giving their child to the next person who passes by.

So I'm glad to say that we are all in the same boat, whether it is a life boat and we are all struggling or a cruise ship and it is paradise!

Another day, another dilemma!

I guess the only way you learn new things is try accomplishing new things. Sadly I've discovered this both at work and at home lately. How sad that there are things at work that I'm not sure how to accomplish but must figure it out. But then at the end I'm not all that positive I want to try that endeavour again.

For instance, I was informed at work that the only way we could be a preferred dealer for this manufacturer at work is to have an e-commerce website. Although I'm not entirely opposed to this situation I only know enough about computers and building websites to be completely dangerous. I had a client offer to make the website for me FREE I just have to keep it updated and handle everything afterwards...Hold on! Is there training to go along with this? And how come I'm the only one that gets to figure this out?

At home, I guess my only 'new' experience is to learn how to deal with the attitude of a 7 year old. And how is one supposed to appropriately respond to 'Mom I hate school and I'm not going back!' When I figure that out I'll let you know because as of right now I haven't passed. As if our mornings weren't chaotic enough already!

Is summer over yet?!

Let me preface all of this soon to be 'rant' with 'I love summer!" I love being in the sun and swimming and biking and hanging out on the porch listening to the creatures and basically everything outdoors...However, I have a new love for fall and the start of school and back to a reasonable schedule.

However, I'm getting so burnt out on running the kids EVERYWHERE! When I originally set up the summer I had planned on a camp here and there plus a few smaller camps close by...Well this is the last week for camps and someone please tell me what I was thinking that driving ALL the way to south Boulder everyday twice a day was a good idea?!?! The only consolation I have right now is that Brooke loves the camp! And the drive up Highway 93 is rather beautiful!

So far this summer I trucked the kids downtown Denver, Golden, Long Lake Ranch and some rather close ones. And then up until last week we were at track 3 nights a week and swimming lessons one night a week and how could I forget dance one night. Now that I put it into that perspective it doesn't seem like that much but truly I'm tired of driving and waiting and waiting and driving. Maybe it also makes it worse because every weekend we are somewhere, the Renaissance festival, Heritage Square, the swimming pool etc etc...Maybe I'm still having nightmares from going Downtown everyday and the crazy traffic...Either way...only 3 days left of this South Boulder nonsense!

I keep telling myself that school is just around the corner and then I'll be rushing to pick the kids up because leaving work is not always easy etc etc...so stay tuned for that rant! I'll be wishing for summer again soon!

Dance Weekends!

So our past weekend was filled with dance rehearsal, pictures, dance recital and finally dance recital...Brooke did great through out everything...She loves to dance and be on stage and loves to be all about 'her.' Not sure where she gets that one from! Anyway...I love to watch her dance and see her progress from show to show. It amazes me what these kids can do and the strength, stamina and poise that all of them posses. I will admit that sometimes it is with a tear that I've come to the conclusion that my little girl has grown up and is totally over the 'awe' of her parents. In past dance weekends she has 'needed' me to help with an outfit or tie a shoe or something...but not anymore. She rushed off backstage in her sweatpants and rushed back to me after dancing in her sweatpants. I guess that all leaves more time for volunteering and supporting my local dance company though! I want to say a quick 'thank you' to Miss Lena for helping Brooke so much both with her dancing, but also with her confidence and self worth...She has learned so much from you! And she absolutely adores being with you! I'm still wondering what happened to my little chicken that has since lost all of her 'baby' qualities...No more baby face, no more relying on mom.

Tyler...

So this week I've had a number of quotes from Tyler that are just so darn cute...

While talking with his uncle Chad...

Chad: "Hey Tyler, are you going to come and watch me race this weekend?"
Tyler: "Maybe I will, Maybe I won't."

Just before falling asleep

Mom: "Tyler...your my little guy."
Tyler: "And your my girl" except Tyler's r's are more with a southern drawl accent...so girl isn't just girl...it is more giarrl....far too cute...

After being told his plans had changed just a little

Tyler: "Oh Darn!" again with the sourther drawl r...I have to be honest and say that I hope he never grows out of that one!

Mom: "Tyler, how do you spell your name?"
Tyler: "T-Y-L-E-ARRRR!"

Between that little accent and the far too cute little grin...I'm not sure I can hold a straight face when the boy needs some direction, discipline etc...

The bubble dilemma

I've come to an age where I'm realizing I have lived in a complete bubble for 30 years. I had 'heard' about things...but when it comes right down to it I closed my eyes...or something, never thought it really happened... Very recently I have been introduced to a whole new life, that I didn't even think people really did. But they do...it is very real and maybe, from a perspective of a very niave person, a little bit interesting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to move out of my bubble...not even for 10 seconds, but I find different things, ideas, ways of life just so interesting.

Since I turned 30...and felt rather old...I decided that I would jump out of my comfort zone at least 1 time every month during the year...In doing so, I have seen the difference in this huge world. Things that make me happy and alive can and are so meaningless to someone else. Hence, probably why there is such a difference of opionion...Maybe, if we would all see that other people are different, instead of wrong...this whole huge world would rotate just a little smoother. But I digress...I'm happy that I've been introduced and know and learn from these people who are choosing to live, for one reason or another, to be just a little different, yet exciting and happy...But in the end they are so much the same...just trying to get through each and every day with as little drama as possible! And like I've been told, if you aren't going to try and make yourself happy...then who is going to make sure that you are happy? I applaud these people that have gone against the grain and have choosen happiness!

Now with the dilemma...Since I'm 30 and have been perfectly content to live in my bubble should I continue to shelter my kids and encourage them to live in their bubble...or should I expose them at a young age so when they are 30 they aren't having these same revalations? Maybe it is all ok...to wait until you are older...you have established life with yourself and who you want to be; so when different ideas are passed along your horizon you aren't as judgemental, or impressionable! And it isn't like this is a life altering situation, merely just revelations. To be honest, life in suburbia living the 'american dream' isn't so bad, in fact I kinda like it! So...for now at least...my kids will continue on with the bubble! I may be revisiting this topic again when my kids grow a little and come home with questions I'm just not ready to answer...or maybe then I'll just roll with the situation and continue with my bubble...