My thoughts and others...

Being that I live such a busy scheduled lifestyle I rarely have time to watch tv. And when the television is on in our house 9 times out of 10 it is turned on to a Rockies game that my son ‘has’ to watch. I kind of like my ‘living under a rock lifestyle’ however, I guess I did miss out on the VMA’s. I honestly don’t really care about missing that, however, I can’t fully join in a conversation about the happenings on the VMA’s. Having said the giant disclaimer I’ve read enough headlines to know that Miley Cyrus made a spectacle of herself and sadly I can’t say I’m surprised. Disappointed, yes but not surprised. I’m sad that every girl out there who watched and loved Hannah Montana now can enjoy this spectacle of happenings. I’m sadder to say that I have a daughter that falls into that category.

I keep telling myself that I have spent her short 10 years shielding her from the big bad world of women selling themselves short and in just one summer that can all be dashed away. Brooke hasn’t mentioned the whole thing and I honestly hope that she is still too young and innocent to care about it, however, when we went to Vegas over the summer and she did see far too much she did say something and her something was far from approval. I guess I should be proud of that

None the less one mom did go on a small rant on her own blog and I feel the need to share her thoughts also.

Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Yes, this is what happens when you constantly hear everything you do is awesome. This is what happens when people fawn over your every Tweet and Instagram photo. This is what happens when no responsible adult has ever said the word “no,” made you change your clothes before leaving the house, or never spanked your butt for deliberate defiance.

If you ever even consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run up and twerk so you will see how ridiculous twerking looks. I will duct tape your mouth shut so your tongue doesn’t hangout like an overheated hound dog. I will smack any male whom you decide to smash against his pelvis – after I first knock you on your butt for forgetting how a lady acts in public.

Why would I do that? Because I love you and I want you to respect yourself. Miley Cyrus is not edgy or cool or sexy. She’s a desperate girl screaming for attention: Notice me. Tell me I’m pretty. See how hot I am. I know all the guys want me. All the girls want to be me.

You probably know girls who will emulate this behavior at the next school dance. Don’t do it with them. You are far too valuable to sell yourself so cheaply. Walk away. Let the boys gawk and know in your heart that they see only a body that can be used for their pleasure and then forgotten.

I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt sad because I haven’t gushed over everything you’ve done. My role is to praise when praise is due, but also to offer constructive criticism and correction when it is needed as well. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt demoralized because your Instagram following isn’t in the thousands, and I’m sorry those “selfies” can never capture how amazingly beautiful you truly are. I’m sorry if you’ve ever wished you had a friend instead of a mom, and I promise you that I will probably get worse when you hit high school.

Dear daughter, I am going to fight or die trying to keep you from becoming like the Miley Cyruses of the world.

You can thank me later.

It’s perfectly okay to disagree with me. Prove your point with facts, and I’ll consider your argument. I conceded to those who raised good points I may not have initially agreed with, and I appreciate you gave me something to think about. That’s what conversation and debate is all about. Open-mindedness. Respectful interaction.

Dear Haters
Here’s what’s not okay: wishing ill on a child. The desire that my daughter gets knocked up by age 15? Brilliant. Ideas about her sexual activities with a football team? Thought-provoking. You get the full wrath of every Mama Bear on the planet for this one. The whole idea of my post is that our girls are beautiful and valuable, and they shouldn’t cheapen themselves. Is there really a problem with this message?

Here’s another thing that’s not okay: F-bombs. Vulgarity is no excuse for a lack of a thesaurus. Yeah, I get that you’re passionate about allowing pre-teen girls to express their sexuality, but pick another adjective. Coincidentally, f is also the first letter of “facetious.” It means “not serious” or “in jest.” As in, I was being facetious when talking about duct taping my child’s head. Give me some credit. I unconditionally love my kids and would never hurt them. I would go total ninja on anyone who did. Besides, they’ve used all the duct tape to make wallets and purses.

Why Do We Do This to Our Girls?
My daughter and I have talked about this topic many times before Miley made sports fans afraid to bring Number One props to football games. She gets it, but it doesn’t hurt to remind her (and thousands like her) that she is an amazing and valuable person whose worth is not dictated by her body or willingness to titillate. The VMAs brought a rush of maternal emotion to the surface. Was it harsh to single Miley out? Yes, but my daughter doesn’t have the same connection to the other performers. As a mom, my heart breaks for Miley and the countless girls who feel like they need to do these shocking things to be relevant or important or loved. I want to hug Miley and tell her she is too precious to allow handlers to mold her into this caricature of womanhood. I would love to have a time machine to take her 20 years into the future so she can see with the benefit of hindsight.

Those of you who do not have daughters will never truly understand what it’s like to see that beautiful baby grow up and be constantly demoralized by a society that picks her apart. Oh my goodness, they are perfect! Ask a group of junior high girls what they think of themselves and you’ll hear, “I’m too fat,” “I’m not pretty,” “Everyone else has a boyfriend,” “I’m the only virgin,” or “Why doesn’t anybody like me?” Why do they feel this way? Because we as adults support a freakin’ culture that tells them that thin is sexy, that ugly girls are worthless, that there is something wrong with you if you don’t have a partner, virginity is a disease, and we don’t love you enough to spend time with you. No wonder these girls do whatever it takes to get someone – anyone- to notice them.

Girls, based on my blog, you have more than 2.5 million people who have noticed you and want to lift you up so you can live a great life. Learn from us old ladies who made mistakes. Here’s what we’ve learned:

1.       It’s okay to be a lady. Really.

2.      You will experience a broken heart. Most guys will be distraught about losing you, but a select few will be complete jackasses who don’t give a damn. Listen to your friends. If they say the guy is trouble, stay away.

3.      Men are not your enemy, nor are they your toys. Yes, each boy or man you meet has feelings, hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes and more. Treat him with respect.

4.      Love and respect yourself. Look at yourself. What’s not to love? You are a beautiful and unique creature, and there is no one like you anywhere else in the world. I know there are times when it seems like there is no one out there for you, but be patient. Friends and boyfriends arrive when the time is right. There are people out there who NEED to know you, people whose lives would be better if they spent just five minutes with you. Know that about yourself. You are infinitely lovable. You are infinitely valuable. Never sell yourself short.

5.       You will never make everybody happy, and some people are going to dislike because you may think differently or you just happen to breathe air. That’s the lesson this old lady had to re-learn this week.

Summer 2013

I want everyone to know that I have stopped licking my wounds from my sad performance at Palisade. Ok, well I stopped licking them before I even did the write up about how bad it was, but I've picked myself up and got a new plan. We will see how this works because I'm a little nervous...I did a 10 mile run in Avon / Vail area and it was hard but so good...really worked at giving me my confidence back. I had a great 8 mile run followed by the 13 miler. The 13 was hard because it was hot and I never put out enough aide stations but I still finished in good time. My legs recovered well enough sooo...the new plan....

I'm going to race a 5K on Sunday, I've run this race the last two years and been able to improve every year so I'm excited to see what happens. Then Saturday I'm signed up for the Slacker 1/2. This is a fast course but it is at altitude so we will see. I ran part of this course last year and it tore my legs up but it is a fun course and the after party is good and I got a free entry from a friend so it worked out. I'm hoping to be a little under 2 hours. If that happens I will just race short races for the rest of the year. If not, there really isn't a plan C so I will still race short races the rest of the year.

To prepare myself for the heat I did a 3 mile run in over 95 degree weather and then a track workout in the wind and over 95 degree weather. Both times it felt like I was running in mud. My time for the 3 miles was respectable and I didn't want to see disappointment so I didn't bother to time myself...telling myself that it was good enough that I was out there trying.

Well those previous paragraphs were written when I still had time on my hands...I didn't have time to update so here you go...I ran the Father's Day 5k finishing 2nd in my division for the 3rd year in a row but again improved the time so that is good. The Slacker was a tough race, that running downhill is rough, but oh so beautiful and fun. I really enjoyed the race, the friends, everything. My time a 1.53:55...Yes currently my PR. So I'm happy with that. I have had a total carefree attitude when it comes to running now...If I don't want to run 10 miles I don't (but many times I still do). Every week since I have gone to track telling myself I will only do part of the workout, every week I finish the whole thing. Maybe all I needed in the first place was a new attitude, not an end goal.

Our summer...In June we were to packed full between track for Tyler, me training and Brooke dancing. We went to Vegas for a week for dance. The kids had an enlightening experience, but they made so many fabulous memories. And Brooke danced well. I'm so proud of her...she has an amazing amount of confidence to get up on stage in front of judges and thousands of people and she dances her heart out. I know I couldn't/wouldn't do it. After we landed from that trip we were informed that my Grandma passed away, which is a very sad situation but I'm choosing to be positive. We were home for 2 days and left again to go to Iowa. The trip was fantastic for my kids and if I'm being honest then I would admit that it was a great trip for me too. Since coming back it seems like all four of us have been just trying to figure out how to live day to day and go back to our crazy days.

Palisade Race Report

So I have avoided it, cried about it and finally made my peace with it...Palisade was rough. No, let me rephrase...Palisade the trip was great, just what I needed to fix me. (Not that I was broken too badly). The race itself was rough. I have now waited over a week to give my race report because I again had to process it all...

I drove over to Palisade on Friday, following some friends. I was making efforts to stay hydrated but I'm not positive now that I was hydrated. Anyway, we checked into the hotel and then decided to find a winery to hang out at. We found a really nice one with a patio and good wine. It was really nice and relaxing and nice to be with friends.

We went to dinner and all the timing was working out great. Got up early for the race and I had a stomach ache, I thought it was nerves so I ignored it all and went on with my usual activities. The beginning of the race was low key as this race is really small...really small. I started out feeling great and I was running a great pace about 8.34 min miles for the first 3 miles. Then there is a giant hill and my time was 10 min. I was actually happy with that because it is a tough hill. Mile 5, 6 and 7 were good, back to 9 min miles and then the turn around...I got dizzy, a stomach ache, dry heaves...I tried to run through it but it kept getting worse so I had to walk. I walked for 30 min, through 2 aide stations and couldn't handle being on the course anymore. I started running again with 3 miles left and I was able to run the first mile but had to walk up all the hills. Needless to say I was beyond disappointed. I cried and thought I was ok and cried some more. I have yet to look up the official time, and I really don't care what it says. While I was walking I was texting Lou and he said it best..."you need to get over yourself and forget about the clock and just run, you are stronger than this." It might be right in that I need to forget about the time, but clearly I wasn't stronger than this. Along the way a girl from the club had injured her knee...I walked with her for awhile but ended up leaving her when I started running again. We ended up going back to help her, piggy back her and carry her but she finally crossed the finish line and go her medal. This just goes to show that we leave no runner behind.

 

 

In all of my thoughts since the race (and trust me I had plenty of time to think since I had a 3 1/2 hour drive home), I still don't know about the stomach issue but I have come to realize that even the best athletes have crappy days. The day after the race I was going to quit running, the next day I figured I needed to stop licking my wounds and figure out what I was going to do. Right now the plan is recovery last week, a long run this week, short run next week one more long run and then taper and try to run the Slacker 1/2 marathon. And I know I'm not out trying to set any records I just can't slow down my racing on such a terrible outing. I've also learned through all of this that the time really doesn't matter...all that matters is that I was out there making an effort and that every day I make an effort to better myself. I seem to be the only one that cares what kind of time I do and where I place.

 

 

Long run accomplished!

"Racing teaches us to challenge ourselves. It teaches us to push beyond where we thought we could go. It helps us to find out what we are made of. This is what we do. This is what it's all about." -- Patti Sue Plumer

In the last 2 weeks my running has gone from "I hate this training all the time and having to run such long mileage" with tons of frustrations of running on the treadmill because the weather has been snowy and wet. I even told some people that I may or may not be on strike from signing up for more races and just being able to run when I am able and however far I want, that I am going to spend my summer hiking instead of having to train all the time. But after the weekend I have a little more confidence back and things are looking up in my world. Ok, I'm still not signing up for more races but I'm not mad that I did anymore. That is progress. Over the weekend I finished my last long run for the training session and I think I might be all down hill from here meaning that runs will hopefully be easier and little more fun filled.  

Saturday morning it was a brutal long run associated with many self to self meetings reminding me that this is all possible and at the end all worth it. Lets just say when I thought I could just run straight home instead of the 1/2 mile out of the way loop I had to ask myself how I would feel 15 minutes after I was done. Happy that I accomplished such feats or bummed because I shorted myself a measly 1/2 mile? Running 1/2 mile comes down to 5 minutes really and I had to be reminded that I would only feel guilty all day long for not taking the extra 5 minutes after I had already taken the time to run 12.5. And yes, I was painfully sore all day Saturday, but not sore enough to lay in bed the next morning and miss out on running with the club. So there would be the confidence level. If I can do back to back runs like that I should be fine for this 1/2 marathon coming up. Don't get me wrong, there is discouragement in the fact that I haven't been able to run the track in a month and I haven't done many tempo runs so I'm not setting any records, but I'll be able to finish with a smile on my face. Sometimes, that has to be the goal.  

Great life lessons!

Today, keeping the day easy, I was reading a blog and I read something that totally rang home. I wish I would have listened a bit more when I was a teenager so that I wouldn't have to learn as many lessons when I was growing up.

This is her list...

12 Things I Would Want My 12-Year-Old-Self to Know:

1. Being perfect is over-rated. No One and No Thing is perfect. Striving for perfection will only make you unhappy. Remember to always show up as who you are, and do not apologize for that. Your job is to be the best Emma you can be. Be yourself. Be your own person. Always do and say what is true for you and you cannot go wrong.

This is completely true! So true, in fact, that I'm trying to teach my 10 year this now. Please, please understand that it is alright to make mistakes while trying to be the best person you can be.

2. You will meet some boy someday who you think you cannot live without. But if he makes you change who you are, or makes you think less of yourself or does not live up to your high standards of what you think you deserve, he is not the one for you. Always know what you are worth.

This worked out for me, it was easy...for everyone, however it isn't so easy but always know and understand that you deserve the best.

3. Having good friends is essential – a true gift in your life. A friend always has your best interests in mind, but a friend is not always perfect. Remember that just like you, your friends are human. They will make mistakes and let you down. If they are a true friend, give them the benefit of the doubt. And remember, friendships will change. It is just part of life. Sometimes it will be time to let a friendship go, and that is okay.

4. To have a good friend, you must be a good friend. Be loyal, caring, and dependable. Listen, but don’t be afraid to lean on your friends for advice and support.

5. Even though it might sometimes seem that your friends are living a better life than you do–maybe they have more stuff, maybe they are an only child and get lots of attention, maybe they have tons of brothers and sisters and that seems fun, maybe they live in a huge house, maybe they take major vacations – whatever the case, or whatever the reason is that you think they have a life that you want – the grass is not greener. The life you have is exactly the one meant for you. The life you have can be whatever you want it to be. And, if you count your blessings and appreciate what you have, you will have the greatest life of all.

This also goes along with living in the moment. Always be living in the moment and enjoy what you do have. Don't worry about what everyone else have.

6. Love your brother. Sam might get on your nerves, but he is the only sibling you have. As you get older, he will become more and more important to you. You and Sam share a bond that you will never have with anyone else. Cherish that.

And maybe it isn't a Sam...maybe its a Tyler...either way, it is your sibling and no one with appreciate you and understand you more than them.

7. Cut your parents some slack. They are not perfect either, although they are doing the best that they can. As you get older, you will blame them for things – just remember that we always loved you and tried to do what we thought was the right thing for your growth and happiness.  8. Don’t hold grudges, life is too short.

9. Think about what you love to do and think about it a lot. Make sure you do bits of these things everyday. Always have the big picture in mind, and think forward to how you can bring the love and passion for those things into your life as you get older. This might happen in your job, by having children, in your marriage, who knows. Just never lose sight of the simple things that make you happy.

10. Be active. Not for the purpose of being thin or looking a certain way but because it makes you a better, more well-rounded person. Being active and moving your body will relieve stress, will put your life in perspective, will keep you young.

11. If you hurt someone, say you are sorry.

Its ok to say your sorry, and 99% of the time it will fix our little mistakes that we are bound to make. Once you are ok with making the mistakes you will be ok with saying 'I'm sorry.'

12. Do not worry. Worry will eat you up inside. Do your best everyday, then let the little things go. Things have a way of working themselves out. One of the best things to learn at a young age is that we cannot control things. The harder we try to make things a certain way, the more we will suffer because things NEVER hardly go as planned. Do your best to be open to the mystery of life.
 

So that is her list...and now my list...too many great lessons there that I only hope will benefit someone!

low points...getting better, hopefully!

As I was sitting in the dentist chair yesterday for the first time in probably 5 years I was busy stressing out about 32 other things I need to be doing. They took my blood pressure; "text book, perfect," they said. This is unusually high for me and do you know what message that sent to me? You let it all get to you! You allowed all of it (the negative happenings in life) finally break you down. I have always, always prided myself in letting things just be, however it was meant to be will always work itself out, there is no reason to stress about it. And here I did just that. I don't have an answer why I allowed it, and now that I have I'm struggling on how to let it all go.

After two weeks of negative after negative filtering in my life, I'm trying really really hard to learn my lesson but in the end I just end up in tears. I think I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have cried in the past year. I would rather not rehash everything because I'm trying really hard to remember only positives.

I'm going to look at the 'blood pressure, light bulb moment' to be the moment as I remember everything getting better and I'm going to list every positive thing that happened in the last two weeks... Here goes ...

-- All 4 of us had great check ups at the dentist (except for 1 minor issue that was already taken care of)

-- I was able (forced) to rest/mend my tired/achy muscles.

-- I had some extra time to play board games with my kids

-- I have had the opportunity to read a book about appreciating what I have in the present

--I have been reminded that I am surrounded by great friends and supportive family

-- I got my taxes all done and ready to mail in

I know, not a very long list but its a start. And the start is always the hardest part.

So I'm going to choose to focus on the positives for now...And try to get my life back to normal.

Training frustrations, starting early

I know you were all expecting this post, probably thought it would have been later in the week, but alas, here we are on Monday and I'm already stressed about not running. I had a very busy weekend, I can't even remember if I went to run Friday morning. I was supposed to run three miles on Saturday and I didn't do it because of the snow, but instead I tried a new workout on a FitWall. I'm still sore from that, and it was great interval training. Then this morning the alarm went off to go run another 3 miles and my body wouldn't move. I'm so tired, probably a combination of the training, the running kids everywhere and only being at my house for sleeping over the weekend. I read a blog this morning and the author wrote last week that she was frustrated with her running because she seemed so tired and runs were hard etc etc. But happy to report that this week is easier. I so hope that things align for me, sooner than later. I keep telling myself that missing a run or two is not a big deal as long as all the long runs are met. I hope I'm not fooling myself. Palisade is a great course and I just want to feel good and hopefully do better than the 2:02 from last year. Hopefully with combing my running with some other total body strengthening things will come together, like a perfect storm.

Brooke had a dance competition over the weekend. This one went much smoother than last month's and I'm happy to report that Brooke was much nicer to me this time than last. It helps that she knows what to expect now and I know what to expect, so I'm a lot better prepared. 2 of her dances scored better than last time and 1 of them made it into the top 10; I'm happy to see the improvement. Makes all those hours of driving around and waiting worth it.